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Racial Characteristics:
Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like
people's feet. They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras,
wash nothing but their cunts, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts
with their faces. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine,
they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own
wimpy language.
Good Points:
Invented the blowjob.
Proper Forms of Address:
Froggy, froggy-wog, frog-eater, French-lips, Franco fuck-face, clit-lick.
An Anecdote Illustrating Something of the French Character:
A Frenchman goes home with his best friend and they find the friend's wife laying
naked on the dining room table with her legs spread apart. The Frenchman takes
a close look at her cunt and says, "Zees looks like zee menstrual blood!" Then
he bends down, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Zees smells like zee menstrual
blood!" Finally he gets down on his knees, eats her out for about twenty minutes,
and says, "Zees tastes like zee menstrual blood! Without a doubt, it eez zee
menstrual blood! Mon dieu, I am glad zat we did not fuck her!!"
Next .... AFRICANS
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Wow. That was pretty offensive.
ReplyDeleteBill
http://willstuff.wordpress.com
Australians
ReplyDeletedamn
ReplyDeleteThat's all I can say.
Damn
When I sent that link to TRKOF, I was sure that everyone would know it was written in the '70s.
ReplyDeleteTim
I find myself greatly amused by certain forms of offensive behavior. This was one!
ReplyDeletewhat part changed in 30 years Tim?
ReplyDeleteNothing offensive in there... just funny.
ReplyDeleteJust proof that P.J. O'Rourke is timeless.
ReplyDeleteTim
They did not "invent" the bj. It long predates the French.
ReplyDeleteThe rest seems fairly accurate
What about those Albanians?..... Vlad the Romanian.. (█-/
ReplyDeleteFailed Connection.
ReplyDeletexero
*gasp!*
ReplyDeleteoffensively funny! and true!
As an a aficionado of the old National Lampoon magazine, I can attest that this sort of delicious parody, of the then nascent PC movement, was a very effective staple. Today it's a celebration of the fact that we're still the only nation on earth, including Canada, where this sort of thing won't see you hauled before the ministry of justice. And feel free to shoot dead any who try to change that,
ReplyDeleteI still have my copy of the National Lampoon with this in it. From a primitive time before political correctness ruled.
ReplyDeleteActually, O'Rourke was making fun mostly of people who kind of thought this way, some of whom are still living, but mostly they have died off in the last 35 years.
However, it is wonderful to watch the PC crowd get their panties in a twist over it, plus see the Free Press crowd holding their noses while defending it, plus the college kids are cracking up watching the adults have puppies over it.
Also, all the actual foreigners read it approvingly until they get to THEIR turn, and either laugh or steam up.
Altogether, a win-win-win-win-win. Like fine wine, this article just keeps on getting better.
--badfrog