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Saturday, April 14, 2012

Engineering

Sigh


*snort*
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9 comments:

  1. I create drawings and specs like that all day. That nailed it.

    AWM

    ReplyDelete
  2. Engineering Change Order 001 (14APR12)dm
    Layer (f): change "butter" to "8gm±2 mayo"
    MarkII: Add layer (g) ham slice, ≥1mm thickness, multiple thin slices permitted
    MarkIII: Add layer (g) turkey slice, ≥1mm thickness, multiple thin slices permitted
    MarkIV: Delete layer (c) and add layer (g) bacon rashers, ≥1mm thickness, trimmed for aesthetic effect, splicing permitted
    Recommend marketing survey need for specifying "white bread." A small increase in allocated assembly-area space would allow for quick response to customer-specific preferences at time of order without impacting performance or delivery time.
    Now… go make me a sammich.
    (What? Why, yes, I was an engineer. Why d'ya ask?)

    ReplyDelete
  3. His website is a riot. Read 'Please design a logo for me'. 27bslash6
    Tim

    ReplyDelete
  4. My dad often told me that before an engineer is handed his diploma, they beat his brains out. I wish my kid would prove him wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Response to RFI:

    Engineer: Refer to MIL-TFD-1111

    Contractor: Not familiar with MIL-TFD-1111

    Engineer: Make it like the friggin' drawing for once.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't get it. Why is this funny? Don't women find nerds with big brains attractive?

    And yes I am an engineer, why do you ask?

    Oh, your lunch order form is sloppy and unacceptable. You need to use a straight edge on your diagrams. You should also note that it is not to scale.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just had a design review meeting with the primary customer.
    Two major changes:
    1. Add layer (h) lettuce as top layer on all models with an option that it be provided as the bottom layer. No extra cost if bottom selected prior to beginning assembly.
    2. Final cut lower-left to upper-right (Type-A2) may be substituted for standard final cut upper-right to lower-left (Type-A1).
    There are two additional customer options:
    a. Both Type-A1 and Type-A2 final cuts into four triangular pieces.
    b. Orthogonal-cuts (Type-B) into quarters.
    No extra cost for either option if notified prior to making final cut.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Boss, we got a problem. No one can find any "mm" things... They looked in the walk-in and the freezer and on the shelves in the back. No can do.
    ...
    p.s. labels on slice dimensions should be modified to refer to the optical delusion that the bread is taller than it is wider.
    p.p.s. Are Federal Stock Numbers available?
    p.p.p.s Do we need to provide a list of at least three sources and alternative substitutes?

    ReplyDelete

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