Paraprosdokians
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Paraprosdokians:
(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the
latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected;
frequently humorous, if not bizarre.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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Frank'nEvvy
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War is not the answer. War is the question. “Yes!” is the answer.
ReplyDeleteYou may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you.
When all else fails, stop using all else.
ReplyDeleteStupid people: They never know it.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
ReplyDeleteI used that in a presentation once, and managed to piss everybody off--nobody got the joke.
There are only 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary, and those who don't.
ReplyDelete