Tar-Heel Chris sent me this
beauty. Mrs. Switzer's class at Eldorado High School in
Placentia, CA are given this assignment.
Letter to Sniper's mom.
Due at end of period. Pretend you are the sniper. Write a letter to
your mother, explaining what happened and how you feel about it.
The mind boggles.
Dear
Mom. I told you I was tired of having manwich sandwitces every godgam
Thrusday. Bu would you listren? Oh no. So in order to
drive the
point homne I had to do something you could not ignore. Guess hwat that
was bitch? ...
What? You can do better?
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This is California, right? How about, "It was totally my idea to dress up as a girl and run for homecoming queen and Tommy stole it. Now, when I want to feel pretty, people say I'm just copying Tommy. THAT TIARA SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!"
ReplyDeleteThat works.
ReplyDeleteDear Mom,
ReplyDeleteBy now you've seen the news and are probably worried about me since you know that only I and two other guys on earth (who are both in Afghanistan) could have made that shot. You heard from Sis I was in DC last week so you probably put two and two together. You're welcome, I love you, gotta go.
Being sent home for a french fry gun vs "pretend" first person killer. Hmmm? The kid with the best writing skills get put on the crazy list and is expelled for future possible crimes.
ReplyDeleteIt's a set up I tell ya!
Which reminds me....
ReplyDeleteWent to the ortho doc a couple weeks ago and had all new extensive paperwork to fill out. Some pages I ignored a being government redundancy, but one really proved it. Where a patient would mark the pain zones on a human body outline, the current instruction read: Draw in your face then circle where the pain is. WTFF!
After stating to the front desk that the paperwork was bullshit (to which she agreed) I asked wth is draw in your face (no I didn't)? Then she said, "It's for all the people who actually do it. You wouldn't believe it." Obama-dumb-shit-care.