scream-of-consciousness;
"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
Pages
▼
Friday, May 01, 2015
How much for both of us?
I Have Two Vaginas!
(no, not her )
Nothing
surprises me anymore, but I do wonder about the "How I found found out" part. I
mean ... WTF? I did not watch to the exciting conclusion, but I
do have a
friend who wants to meet her.
Bubba died in a fire in his trailer. He was very badly burned and needed someone to identify him, so the morgue called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe.
Jim-Bob went in and and said "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over, Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, "Nope, it ain't Bubba."
Not saying a thing, but finding it strange, the mortician brought in Billy-Joe. "Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll 'im over," said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his butt and said, "It ain't Bubba."
"How can you tell?" asked the mortician.
"Bubba had two assholes," replied Billy-Joe. "Two assholes? That's impossible!" said the mortician.
"Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two assholes, cause every time the three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes Bubba with them two assholes!"
Seriously, I know a woman who has this "condition". I don't know about her kidneys or uterus, but her vaginal canal is definitely divided into two longitudinal chambers, starting an inch or two in. She had two normal sons and, as far as I know, no special problems. She and I were together for some time. And the sex was fine. But at least when she told a story she could get to the fucking point!
I was particularly struck by how shocked and resentful she was at the worngness of the very idea that anything, anything at allll, could possibly go ...differently from her expectations.
She is so unfamiliar with muscle pain that she goes to the doctor for a lower back ache?!?
That "Bubba's Two Assholes" joke is a variant on the one about the guy giving a police report on his stolen camel. "Male or female? I never really thought about it, but it must have been a male, because whenever I rode up and down Collins Ave. people would say, 'Get a load of the schmuck on that camel!'"
As interesting as the subject matter could have been, there is no way I could watch that through, even with skipping 5 seconds out of every 6. That ANNOYING, GRATING VOICE, that incessant desire to avoid any point whatsoever. That annoying hand waving.
She desperately needs a video editor to chop that shit out! - Like that food preparation video Uncle Rodger posted a few days ago.
This would be a great video for torturing jihadis and people on death row.
)
Stop with all the flailing already! And that voice! Ugh. I thought Valley Girl-ism had died out.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't **** her with either of my dicks.
yes you would
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to do with ONE vagina. Two would be unthinkable.
ReplyDeleteBruce Jenner keeps leaving messages for her to call but she can't figure out what he/she could possible want.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Missouri..
ReplyDelete...SHOW ME!!!
Reminds me of an old joke.
ReplyDeleteBubba died in a fire in his trailer. He was very badly burned and needed someone to identify him, so the morgue called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe.
Jim-Bob went in and and said "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over, Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, "Nope, it ain't Bubba."
Not saying a thing, but finding it strange, the mortician brought in Billy-Joe. "Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll 'im over," said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his butt and said, "It ain't Bubba."
"How can you tell?" asked the mortician.
"Bubba had two assholes," replied Billy-Joe. "Two assholes? That's impossible!" said the mortician.
"Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two assholes, cause every time the three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes Bubba with them two assholes!"
Tim
u da men tim & kim!
ReplyDeleteJudging from her near non-stop vocal fry tones, I think she was talking from her two vaginas. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteQuack.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick
Why do women have two sets of lips?
ReplyDeleteSo they can piss and moan at the same time.
Seriously, I know a woman who has this "condition". I don't know about her kidneys or uterus, but her vaginal canal is definitely divided into two longitudinal chambers, starting an inch or two in. She had two normal sons and, as far as I know, no special problems. She and I were together for some time. And the sex was fine. But at least when she told a story she could get to the fucking point!
ReplyDeleteCaballero Andante
I was particularly struck by how shocked and resentful she was at the worngness of the very idea that anything, anything at allll, could possibly go ...differently from her expectations.
ReplyDeleteShe is so unfamiliar with muscle pain that she goes to the doctor for a lower back ache?!?
Not gonna do well if her situation changes....
e~C
I'm kind of proud of myself. I watched the whole damned thing, and managed to pay attention most of the time. I can't usually do that when women talk.
ReplyDeleteCasca
OK Rog, but only if someone duct tapes her mouth shut first. Then I'll deploy and explore the Mysterious Caverns.
ReplyDeleteThat "Bubba's Two Assholes" joke is a variant on the one about the guy giving a police report on his stolen camel. "Male or female? I never really thought about it, but it must have been a male, because whenever I rode up and down Collins Ave. people would say, 'Get a load of the schmuck on that camel!'"
ReplyDeleteStu the Joke Wrangler
Dear Lord!
ReplyDeleteAs interesting as the subject matter could have been, there is no way I could watch that through, even with skipping 5 seconds out of every 6. That ANNOYING, GRATING VOICE, that incessant desire to avoid any point whatsoever. That annoying hand waving.
She desperately needs a video editor to chop that shit out! - Like that food preparation video Uncle Rodger posted a few days ago.
This would be a great video for torturing jihadis and people on death row.