scream-of-consciousness;
"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
First rule of SCUBA: never fart in a full wet suit.
And then there's the Arapaho Chief who developed severe abdominal cramps. Couldn't get rid of 'em.
His wife goes to see a doctor in town and tells him about it. "Big Chief no fart." Doc gives her a bottle of pills and tells her to give him one pill every 4 hours until he passes gas, and then the pain will go away.
Next day she comes back to see Doc and says, "Pill no work; Big Chief no fart."
Doc tells her to give him 2 pills every 3 hours. So she does.
Next day she comes back: "Big Chief no fart."
So Doc says, O.K. Give him the rest of the bottle all at once. Then, for several days the woman doesn't come to see himc, so Doc drives to her house to check.
A surveyor who moved from the SC Low Country to Nebraska years ago, the worst part of the culture shock for me was all the winter clothes with coveralls on top. Every time you would fart, the only place it could get out was around the looser neckline so that with each step, you would get another small blast of fart gas right in the face till the gas inside was exhausted.
First rule of SCUBA: never fart in a full wet suit.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's the Arapaho Chief who developed severe abdominal cramps. Couldn't get rid of 'em.
His wife goes to see a doctor in town and tells him about it. "Big Chief no fart." Doc gives her a bottle of pills and tells her to give him one pill every 4 hours until he passes gas, and then the pain will go away.
Next day she comes back to see Doc and says, "Pill no work; Big Chief no fart."
Doc tells her to give him 2 pills every 3 hours. So she does.
Next day she comes back: "Big Chief no fart."
So Doc says, O.K. Give him the rest of the bottle all at once. Then, for several days the woman doesn't come to see himc, so Doc drives to her house to check.
"How's the Chief? Is he O.K.?"
"Big fart. No Chief."
Meth. It's not rocket science.
ReplyDeleteReading it out loud to my hubby, I could barely speak the words through our laughter. Great find!
ReplyDeleteAh, now I feel purposeful juice
ReplyDeleteA surveyor who moved from the SC Low Country to Nebraska years ago, the worst part of the culture shock for me was all the winter clothes with coveralls on top. Every time you would fart, the only place it could get out was around the looser neckline so that with each step, you would get another small blast of fart gas right in the face till the gas inside was exhausted.
ReplyDeleteThe RKOF is much welcomed. Don't know if we could get through it twice.
ReplyDeleteA meth head just trashed our house, stole our car and totaled it. I hates 'em.
ReplyDeleteBocopro, remember the similar old joke, "Bowels no move"?
ReplyDeleteSo the Chipolte product caused excessive flatulence but the Del Taco's didn't!?
ReplyDeleteApparently there is a cure for stupid. Thanks, Chipotle!
ReplyDeleteWho says farts aren't funny.
ReplyDelete