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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Little People

The Horth Withperer



Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.  Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. 
"A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly. 
"Nith lookin' horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"
Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?"
So he picks the little fella up again and shows him the horse's ears. 
"Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?"
The rancher is gettin' pretty irritated at this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouf, can I thee her twat?"
Totally ticked at this point, the rancher grabs the midget under his arms and rams his head as far as he can up the horse's undercarriage, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
"Perhapth I thould rephrathe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?"

8 comments:

  1. OMG! Dying laughing over here! Where did you find that picture?? ahahahahahaha.

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  2. >>>

    I'm not a real doctor (but I play one on TV) but I am willing to bet that the horth in the picture is NOT a filly.....

    >>>

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  3. I might be movin' to Montana soon
    Just to raise me up a crop of Dental Floss Raisin' it up
    Waxen it down
    In a little white box
    I can sell uptown
    By myself I wouldn't
    Have no boss,
    But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
    Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
    Well I just might grow me some bees
    But I'd leave the sweet stuff
    For somebody else...
    but then, on the other hand
    I'd Keep the wax N' melt it down
    Pluck some Floss N' swish it aroun'
    I'd have me a crop
    An' it'd be on top

    (that's why I'M movin' to Montana)

    Movin' to Montana soon
    Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon
    (yes I am)
    Movin' to Montana soon
    Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
    I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
    That's growin' on the prairie
    Pluckin' the floss!
    I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
    I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
    (His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
    He's a good hoss
    Even though He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
    Blanket on anyway
    He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
    Blanket on anyway
    Any way I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
    Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
    I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
    I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
    I'm gonna find me a horse
    Just about this big
    An' ride him all along the border line
    With a Pair of heavy-duty
    Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
    Every other wrangler would say
    I was mighty grand
    By myself I wouldn't
    Have no boss
    But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
    Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
    Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
    Well I might Ride along the border
    With my tweezers gleamin'
    In the moon-lighty night
    And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
    N' give my foot a push...
    Just me 'n the pymgy pony
    Over the Dennil Floss Bush
    N' then I might just Jumb back on
    An' ride Like a cowboy
    Into the dawn to Montana
    Movin' to Montana soon

    (Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)

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  4. :D:D:D omg!
    It took me reading the punch line twice to get the message~
    Horry Clap! Cain't stop LOL!!!
    Daz a good'n!

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  5. Polished professional seems to be bringing out the maximum in the mini pony.

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  6. http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Frank-Zappa/Montana.html

    The song is by Frank Zappa, from the album "Over-Nite Sensation", released in 1973.

    CF in CO

    ReplyDelete
  7. Funny!!!! I laugh hard.
    Ozaob

    ReplyDelete

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