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Friday, December 11, 2015

Driving Miss Crazy

TIPS FOR SAFE WINTER MOTORING








10 comments:

  1. If you cut the 'ground' prong off of a microwave oven cord you can rotate the plug 180 degrees. If you plug it in that way the electricity flows backward and you can chill a 6 pack in 2 minutes.
    Tim

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anon:
    I tried it and it doesn't work. The microwave
    blew up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's because you were supposed to set the microwave on Low(er), not High(er)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I found that the best way to clean the spark plugs on your car is to start the engine,
    open the hood, stand on an short aluminum step ladder and urinate on them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. In the same vein...if you want to make your AR full auto ad a California style Bullet Button... Or simply cut the tip of the firing pin back about 1/8"...

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  6. In addition to engaging the parking brake on ice, get out the garden hose to rinse away ice from your windshield.

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  7. WD40 is a lousy rust protector for brakes, because it evaporates. Use a good #2 lithium grease.

    If you're not sure what the outside temperature is, lick a metal flagpole. If your tongue doesn't stick, it's above freezing. Do not attempt this at home without a cell phone handy.

    If your car's gas line freezes, gather fallen leaves, stuff them under your car and set them alight to thaw the gas line.
    Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

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  8. If you ever run into my ex-wife, marry her.

    Sir H the Comet

    ReplyDelete
  9. To jump start your car or charge the battery, get an electrical extension cord, cut off the socket end and strip the wires, wrap the bare copper ends around your battery posts and plug the cord into the wall.

    (I woke up in a hippie commune once and there was a guy stripping the end of an extension cord intending to do just that.)

    ReplyDelete

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