Ig Nobels

Today's Ignobly Meaningless Story

If  I mention the Ig Nobel Prize, and I just did, many of you would think I was referring to the Nobel Prize, especially as awarded for Peace and Literature (which are today, and  ignobly so, little more than merit badges for neo-coms who hate the United States).  But, you'd be wrong. Unlike the Nobel, the Ig Nobles are entirely legitimate.  Awards go to researchers who advance the study of the pointless, the meaningless, and the frivolous.  Think congressional committee, but with experts. Here are some winners that stand out. ORNITHOLOGY: Ivan R. Schwab, of the University of California Davis, and the late Philip R.A. May of the University of California Los Angeles, for exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches. MEDICINE: Francis M. Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine, for his medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage" AGRICULTURAL HISTORY: James Watson of Massey University, New Zealand, for his scholarly study, "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers." CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler of the University of Minnesota and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water? But, don't let me spoil your fun ...