scream-of-consciousness;
"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
Perhaps this is more appropriate for Post Secrets? Oh well. I mentioned to a friend many years ago that I'd never heard my first wife fart. He said "no wonder she was such a bitch".
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the grandson. .. . "They won't let me fart."
I'm seeing a lot of people make the mistake of saying our bodies and everything in them (or coming out of them) are 98.6. That is only the average ORAL temp, under the tongue. Some rectal, ear, and the new forehead thermometers are scale-adjusted to give the estimated quivalent oral temp.
In reality or body temp varies depending on where it's measured. Our core temp is somewhere around 115 or 120. Farts would be pretty close to that.
Reason #4 why men have dogs: to blame their farts on.
ReplyDelete(#1 is loyal companionship. #2 is a tie between protection and play.)
It didn't mention that women are incapable of farting.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't a woman alive that can keep their mouth shut long enough to build up pressure.
Perhaps this is more appropriate for Post Secrets? Oh well. I mentioned to a friend many years ago that I'd never heard my first wife fart. He said "no wonder she was such a bitch".
ReplyDeleteSo what is it in expensive Fraunch cuisine that causes my own farts to make my eyes water and want to leave the room?
ReplyDeleteAlways educational!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rodger!
Reminds me of this old classic:
ReplyDeleteThe family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where
the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she
needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, "Hi,
Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
grandson. .. . "They won't let me fart."
A burp is but a breath of air
ReplyDeletecoming from the heart
But when it takes a downward roll
It becomes a fart.
A burp is just an educated fart......it made it to the top
ReplyDeleteNuckingfutz
I'm seeing a lot of people make the mistake of saying our bodies and everything in them (or coming out of them) are 98.6. That is only the average ORAL temp, under the tongue. Some rectal, ear, and the new forehead thermometers are scale-adjusted to give the estimated quivalent oral temp.
ReplyDeleteIn reality or body temp varies depending on where it's measured. Our core temp is somewhere around 115 or 120. Farts would be pretty close to that.
AWM