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This is a portion of an actual complaint
received by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality:
INITIAL PROBLEM: On 03/09/2010 a complaint was received at the Texas
Commission on Environmental Quality Waco Regional Office. The complaint
alleges that David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and
allowing the hunters to defecate in the woods. It also alleged that
there is no restroom and Mr. Cousins is planning to extend plumbing
into a creek next to the cabin. The cabin is located at 2785 FM 1246
E., Thornton (Limestone County), Texas 76687-2536. (fb/ks)
-This is the full resolution to the matter, after
much nattering about.
RE: TCEQ Incident No. 136926
Dear Tim,
We have had some
delay in our
investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you
kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of
reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures
throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer
and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to
find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my
windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight. The culprit flew
away but I did get a description. It was red. The gift it left was
white.
In order to complete
our
investigation, I must ask, should we inquire into urination, or only
defecation? I strongly believe that both are taking place, since
hunters have long been suspected of taking a good amount of liquid
refreshments with them into the woods. Also, we are collecting samples
of the activities of these diabolical defecating reprobates. Should we
send these to you, or directly to Austin?
Lastly, please allow
us to to handle
this at the local level, and do not involve the federal government.
When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington
bureaucrates would only add to our misery.
"Don't mess in
Texas."
Very truly yours,
Daniel Burkeen
County Judge
Limestone
County (full
report) |
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R.W. Forsythe
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Happy to be in Texas!!
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the shitstorm this would cause in CA?
I freaking love Texas, and Texans. It's my ferveant hope Texas reverts back to nationhood, and the anchor for the resoration of our nation.
ReplyDeleteDespite my frequent encounters with Texans on the road which has led me to conclude that the handicap symbol on a Texas license plate is redundant, they are unexcelled at dealing with leftist moonbats once you get away from Austin.
ReplyDeleteReckon if it were #OccupyHuntingCabin, it'd be okay with this feller, though.
ReplyDeleteThe spirit of Sam Houston, William B Travis, Jim Bowie and Audie Murphy lives on. If we secede we will not send an ambassador to the UN. (and maybe not to DC). And our capital will be moved to Luckenbach, or Cut and Shoot, or Gun Barrel City.
ReplyDelete