scream-of-consciousness;
"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
The cold-gold seat problem was solved long ago: Toilet Seats
While I am emulating Keats My brother fabrics toilet seats, The which, they say, are works of art, Aesthetic features of the mart; So exquisitely are they made With plastic of a pastel shade, Of topaz, ivory or rose, Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,-- (They must, I fear, be very cold). But Tom's have thermostatic heat, With sympathy your grace to greet. Like silver they are neon lit, Making a halo as you sit: Then lo! they play with dulcet tone A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats I would not sing of toilet seats, But rather serenade a star,-- Yet I must take things as they are. For even kings must coyly own Them as essential as a throne: So as I tug the Muse's teats I envy Tom his toilet seats.
From: Rhymes For My Rags by Robert W Service 1956 I think the whole point of this poem is Robert Service wanted an excuse to slip "teats" into a poem.
The Japanese have fantastic toilet seats, heated being one of their lesser features. I'm always afraid that I'll die by electrocution using them (it happens! the Japanese are a mad, man, mad bunch)
I am willing to bet that that gold throne has not a lick of heat anywhere.
Or you can just drink a lot of Goldschläger. Costs less and if you're going to be on your knees examining contents of the toilet bowl you might as well make it a two-fer.
What crap.
ReplyDeleteGold is a great heat conductor. Can you imagine sitting your warm tush down on it during the winter?
No thanks!
The cold-gold seat problem was solved long ago:
ReplyDeleteToilet Seats
While I am emulating Keats
My brother fabrics toilet seats,
The which, they say, are works of art,
Aesthetic features of the mart;
So exquisitely are they made
With plastic of a pastel shade,
Of topaz, ivory or rose,
Inviting to serene repose.
Rajahs I'm told have seats of gold,--
(They must, I fear, be very cold).
But Tom's have thermostatic heat,
With sympathy your grace to greet.
Like silver they are neon lit,
Making a halo as you sit:
Then lo! they play with dulcet tone
A melody by Mendelssohn.
Oh were I lyrical as Yeats
I would not sing of toilet seats,
But rather serenade a star,--
Yet I must take things as they are.
For even kings must coyly own
Them as essential as a throne:
So as I tug the Muse's teats
I envy Tom his toilet seats.
From: Rhymes For My Rags by Robert W Service 1956 I think the whole point of this poem is Robert Service wanted an excuse to slip "teats" into a poem.
That's very good.
ReplyDeleteThe Japanese have fantastic toilet seats, heated being one of their lesser features. I'm always afraid that I'll die by electrocution using them (it happens! the Japanese are a mad, man, mad bunch)
I am willing to bet that that gold throne has not a lick of heat anywhere.
Craptacular.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! David really pulled that post out of the crapper. Good team play.
ReplyDelete*clap*clap*clap*
Or you can just drink a lot of Goldschläger. Costs less and if you're going to be on your knees examining contents of the toilet bowl you might as well make it a two-fer.
ReplyDelete"Teats" does not rhyme with "seats."
ReplyDeleteJust sayin...
does too
ReplyDeleteHuh. Fancy toilet seats, $6k or so for some models. Hell, I thought they were all still crapping through holes in the floor.
ReplyDelete