So a guy calls his rabbi ...
"Calm
down Levi," says the Rabbi, "what
makes you think that Esther wants to murder you?"
"I can't cite particulars; it's just an overwhelming sense of dread that I can't shake," says Levi. "Very well. Let me call Esther and see if anything is bothering her." Levi waits an hour and calls the Rabbi back, but the phone is busy. And then in an hour he calls. Busy. And again. Finally the Rabbi answers.
"Rabbi,
did you talk to her?"
"Did I talk to her? Oy, for three hours I'm on the telephone with Esther." "So, what do you think?" "Let me give you my best advice Levi." "Yes, Rabbi, what is it?" "Drink the poison." |
scream-of-consciousness; "If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
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Mary goes up to Father O’Grady after the Sunday morning service, in tears.
ReplyDeleteThe priest says, “What’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”
Mary says, “Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”
The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”
“He did, Father,” was the reply.
The priest says, “What did he ask, my child?”
“He said 'Mary, please, just put down the gun and we’ll talk about this…'”
Why do all Jewish men die before their wives?
ReplyDeleteThey want to.