Pumping Iron?

Gizmos and Gadgets                      We Have Liftoff “ I remember this scene, from the Once Upon a Mattress episode of the 1980's series Saint Elsewhere,  as one of the top 2-3 funniest things I've ever seen on television.   Dr. Fiscus was played by Howie Mandel, and remember, this was a drama about a hospital.   Here's a synopsis of the scene .... Allow me to summarize the Dr Fiscus sub-plot of this episode. In the previous episode (After Life) Fiscus was shot and experienced an out of body preview of the afterlife and was brought back by open-heart surgery. The character of Fiscus was a clown (like wearing an examination glove on his head like a cock's comb during surgery), but after his near-death he is a sober, somber man. Having the med students come in to examine his scar just depresses him further. Add to this, the fellow in the bed next to his is in for a penile implant ("It's for my wife, you understand...") who votes for the inflatable implant, rather than the 'goose-neck' model ("Nothing's too good for my old lady...") After the surgery, with Fiscus still drowning in self-pity, the roommate announces that he's going to "Take this baby out for a test-drive!" and pulls the curtain between them shut. From behind the curtain, Fiscus hears "Fwish, fwish, fwish" and the roommate's amazed comment of: "Wow! My wife's gonna LOVE this!" "Fwish fwish fwish" "Holy Cow! That's amazing!" Fiscus is sitting up higher and higher in the bed, reacting to the sounds and comments emerging from behind the curtain.  "Fwish fwish fwish" "Jeez! The old lady ain't gonna BELIEVE this!" "Fwish fwish fwish - BANG!" "OW! OH! OW!" Fiscus reacts in shock, and then begins to laugh, holding his aching ribs as the curtain pulls aside and the roommate displays the paper bag he's just popped. "Gotcha!" he grins, and Fiscus is in tears as he laughs and suffers the pain of his incision... Great TV (IMDB commentary) Going back to that scene, I was reminded yesterday that I still had no idea about how penile pumps actually work.  There were some brainal visions of a man in the bathroom with a tire pump, but the whole thing sounded quite contraptionary.  Why yesterday? Last night I was scanning You Tube's "Popular Videos," when up pops what can only be described as  a side of porn film-full length.   WTF?  I thought YouTube was the last bastion of PG video.  I did do a bit of browsing of the "Life Guide" to "21st century sex"  series.   This series, however, actually has some pretty interesting stuff, and the people parading around as "doctors" might actually be, because a lot of the people are quite plain, and even unattractive.  This is an extremely explicit case history.  Poor guy. ”