A gentleman goes to confession.
He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. — Last night, I beat the shit out of a Muslim who was defending ISIS"
The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."
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NBC reported on Twitter that ISIS guys were shaving bears and hiding in civilian homes to avoid airstrikes. A short time later, they amended that to "beards, not bears". Good thing, as shaving bears would be particularly grizzly.
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