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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Headers

HEADLINES



Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

9 comments:

  1. Yes! All our journalism students should go to whatever school produced these leads.

    mary

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious! I love screwball headlines.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.....After consulting the "I Ching" no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Miners Refuse to Work after Death"......"Paid holidays forfeited."

    ReplyDelete
  5. If the 7 foot doctors lose, they're well qualified to take their case to a higher court.
    (heh heh heh! I recycle.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Braille Bible for sale. Must see to appreciate.

    Charcoal Briquettes Destroyed By Fire

    - a couple of old favorites of mine via Jay Lenno.
    GrinfilledCelt

    ReplyDelete
  7. Large billboard ad:
    If you can't read, call this number
    555-1234

    As far as Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant , that would be a good idea for anybody caught with gang tattoos.
    Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

    ReplyDelete
  8. My favorite (from James Taranto's "Best of the Web Today")

    City Council Debates Squirrels

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over -- Demands Offspring To Be Raised Catholic"

    ReplyDelete

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