Saturday, August 12, 2006

The bright side of clinical depression

Today's Medical Bulletin
Clinical depression is a terrible affliction, but there is a  bright side - not compensating, to be sure - but something.  Here are examples of how the depressed person has an advantage over you.
The News
Seratonin Enabled
Skipped Prozac
DR.: I'm sorry Mrs. Jones, but you only have a week to live
Mrs. Jones: (sobbing) OMFG!
Mrs. Jones: Can we hurry things along?
Wife:  I'm leaving you Harry
Harry:  What?  What can I do to make you change your mind?  I'll change.  I'll do anything.
Harry: Take the cat.
Boss:  Sally, your work has been totally unsatisfactory.  We're letting you go.
Sally: What?  What can I do to make you change your mind?  I'll change.  I'll do anything. Sally: Go fuck yourself.
Coach: Dick, WTF are you doing?  You didn't even try to block your man!
Dick: Coach, I'm sorry.  I ate Mexican last night, and  I have an emerging problem here.  I'm afraid if I move, I'll crap my pants.
Dick:  Go fuck yourself.
Bulletin: The meteor is just 11 minutes away from crashing into North America and destroying us.
People: ''Please God, get me out of this and I'll start going to church, I swear I will.''
People: HA! Die, you liberal motherfuckers!!!
Prosecutor:  We will prove that Mr. Harris raped my client .
Defense Attorney:  Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client takes Prozac, so he could not possibly have penetrated Ms. Petirie..
Mr. Harris:  Oh shit
(Whoops, mixed bag, that.)


Anonymous said...

Beautiful. Though I didn't know prozac had that effect.

Like the new comment box, looks shnazzy.

Anonymous said...


you forgot about that mindless liberal denial,
"can't we all get along..."


the wise, "i feel we need to deploy our troops..."
(or, ''drop the bomb", or "they can die", etc..)

Rodger the Real King of France said...

No, I definitely did not miss that one. :))

Anonymous said...


i just couldn't help but state the obvious...

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