Clinical depression is a terrible affliction, but there is a bright side - not compensating, to be sure - but something. Here are examples of how the depressed person has an advantage over you.
|The News ||Seratonin Enabled
|DR.: I'm sorry Mrs. Jones, but you only have a week to live||Mrs. Jones: (sobbing) OMFG!
||Mrs. Jones: Can we hurry things along?
|Wife: I'm leaving you Harry
||Harry: What? What can I do to make you change your mind? I'll change. I'll do anything.
||Harry: Take the cat.
|Boss: Sally, your work has been totally unsatisfactory. We're letting you go.
||Sally: What? What can I do to make you change your mind? I'll change. I'll do anything.||Sally: Go fuck yourself.
|Coach: Dick, WTF are you doing? You didn't even try to block your man!
I'm sorry. I ate Mexican last night, and I have an emerging
problem here. I'm afraid if I move, I'll crap my pants.
||Dick: Go fuck yourself.|
|Bulletin: The meteor is just 11 minutes away from crashing into North America and destroying us.
||People: ''Please God, get me out of this and I'll start going to church, I swear I will.''
||People: HA! Die, you liberal motherfuckers!!!
|Prosecutor: We will prove that Mr. Harris raped my client .
||Defense Attorney: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client takes Prozac, so he could not possibly have penetrated Ms. Petirie..
||Mr. Harris: Oh shit
(Whoops, mixed bag, that.)