Fun with Foreigners

Foreigners

International terror alert status increases The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent plots and haveraised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorizedfrom "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised itsterror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels inFrance are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectivelyparalyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level ofalert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly andExcitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "DisdainfulArrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. Cuzzin Ricky