Once again, The
Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in
which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words:
The winners
are:
- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one
coughs.
- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
gained.
- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
 Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.- Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in
which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
- Lymph (v.), to
walk with a lisp.
- Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence (n.)
emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.
- Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
- Testicle (n.), a
humorous question on an exam.
- Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
- Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
- Oyster (n.), a
person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
- Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that,
when you die , your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
- Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
by Jewish men
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Thanks "JS"
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