Saturday, January 03, 2009

Obama's Plan

NASCAR Driver Jeff Gordon
Fires Entire Pit Crew 

The action followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of the Obama Plan for NASCAR to employ inner city youngsters. He was persuaded by a recent documentary on Court TV on how gang bangers from Harlem, Chicago & Los Angeles were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.  It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team as most races are won or lost in the pits.  However-Gordon got more than he bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-numbered, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
Tim W


Ride Fast said...

Oh come on. Everyone knows Jeff Gordon's wife doesn't shower.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Gordon's got a wife?

rockville said...

Jeff Gordon's got a wife?

His second. The first was Jennifer Brooke Sealey, AKA Brooke Gordon, who turned out to be one of the all-time great gold-diggers.

The current wife is the former Ingrid Vandebosch. One presumes they have an ironclad pre-nup. They also have a child together.

Red Neckerson said...


Jeffy has a BEARD. Not a wife. She's his cover when he has his trists with Jimmy Johnson.

Hey! 24 goes into 48 two times.......a night (at least)....


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