Thursday, August 13, 2009

SS Dumps on Carter

Dumping on Teh Jummy

I takes my validations where I finds 'em, and discovering that Jummy's Secret Service detachment hated him is sweet. A new book dumps on Teh Jummah while he's still alive to enjoy it.  Here's some excerpts, courtesy  NewsMax,  from  "In the President's Secret Service: Behind the Scenes With Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents They Protect," by Ron Kessler.
  • Carter treated with contempt the little people who helped and protected him," and told agents not to look at him or speak to him — even to say hello — when he went to the Oval Office, Kessler disclosed. "For three and a half years, agent John Piasecky was on Carter's detail — including seven months of driving him in the presidential limousine — and Carter never spoke to him, he says.
  •  refused to allow a military aide with the nuclear football to stay in a trailer on his property in Plains. The aide had to stay in Americus, a 15-minute drive from Carter's home, a top military official confirmed to Kessler. "...  Carter could not have launched a counterattack by calling the aide in Americus," Kessler writes. "By the time the military aide drove to Carter's home, the United States would have been within five minutes of being wiped out by nuclear-tipped missiles."
 
  • Early in his presidency, Carter proclaimed that the White House would be "dry," and only wine, but no liquor, would be served at state dinners.The word was passed to get rid of all the booze on Air Force One, at Camp David, and in the White House. But on the first Sunday the Carters were in the White House, they ordered up Bloody Marys before going to church.
  • On one occasion, disgruntled agents deliberately left Carter's luggage in the trunk of his car at an airport, and Carter "was without clothes for two days."
[More]

12 comments:

Chuck from Tacoma said...

Jimmah Carter is a Richard.

Chuck Martel said...

Sounds like a case of bunker mentality.

Anonymous said...

I just contributed to his pissatorium.


(Rodger you might want to post a pic for the new readers).

Anonymous said...

Never mind, Google had it (wonders never cease).

http://curmudgeonlyskeptical.blogspot.com/2006/02/its-yellow-for-carter-jimmy-carter.html

Anonymous said...

He'll need another bag, albiet one much larger, for Clinton's crap as well:
* Number close to the Clinton machine who have been convicted of or pleaded guilty to crimes: 44
* Number of convictions during his administration: 33
* Number of indictments/misdemeanor charges: 61
* Number of imprisonments: 14
* Number of presidential impeachments: 1
* Number of independent counsel investigations: 7
* Number of congressional witnesses pleading the 5th Amendment: 72
* Number of witnesses fleeing the country to avoid testifying: 17
* Number of foreign witnesses who have declined interviews by investigative bodies: 19

c.umulus n.imbusi iii

ET said...

JIMMAH CAHTUH: A Study in Spineless Indecision and Ignorance in Positions of Prominence.

Because of gross oversight and clerical error, he was admitted to the US Naval Academy despite its policy against enrolling feeble-minded jerkoffs. Through continuing administrative malfeasance, he took a BS degree and commenced his personal crusade to transform the United States into a weak, socialist, third-rate paper tiger.

He followed up his BS degree with work in nuclear physics and engineering, which prepared him marvelously for dealing with lying, posturing, double-dealing, US-hating, Middle Eastern terrorists. His first book, Why Not The Best? looks into the reasons he failed so miserably and consistently as president. He pushed legislation which would protect various animals already doomed by nature and cause thousands of people their jobs. He promoted quotas for minorities in governmental jobs and college admissions, and sacrificed American prestige and hostages for a shot at the Nobel Peace Prize. He was key in abandoning the country’s claim on the Panama Canal, and spent most of his energies meddling in the internal affairs of other nations by criticizing their human rights policies. A poor farm boy from rural Georgia, he rose to the pinnacle of Worst President in the 20th century, all by himself, and is damned proud of it.

Had he not been born in a rural area of America, he would have been a perennial favorite for Monty Python’s “Upper-Class Twit of the Year” award. His mother apparently was not present at his birth, and he has gone through his adult life as an antique, expired consciousness completely unworthy of resuscitation. My secret suspicion is that he is some sort of Neanderthal cross with a jackass.

Jimmy Carter actually believes that Bill Clinton was a great president who never should have been impeached. In fact, Carter remains convinced that Clinton never lied, since his understanding of oral sex is just talking dirty. This assessment of a serious issue parallels his understanding of terrorism, where he believes our position in Iraq is 4th and 20 in the 9th with two in the penalty box and minus two points for hitting low. It’s entirely possible that the bones in his head never stopped calcifying when the rest of his body reached adulthood.

This animated wad of intellectually anemic protoplasm has a credibility rating about like professional wrestling. As a negotiator he is about as clever as Larry, Shemp, and Moe. Damn, I can feel my BP soaring just thinking about the walking advertisement for birth control. In fact, I’m just wasting my time here, ‘cause his mother summed it all up very nicely:

“Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.’"
Lillian Carter

I wish I’d made that up, but I didn’t – she actually said it. The prosecution rests.

Kristophr said...

You're cutting him too much slack, ET.

Gayle Miller said...

Who would know this "sack of excrement" better than his own mother!

I've been opining for years now that he is a senile, nasty and anti-Semitic old fart who should be locked up, put on serious meds and kept out of public view for his own sake and for the protection of our nation. Until the present occupant of the White House he was the worst president in history!

You have to admit that Zero is an overachiever - he just couldn't let Jimmy keep that worst president title!

Anonymous said...

Too good ET. It was said that Lillian and Dolly Parton both had two huge boobs.
Tim

JMcD said...

Geez, if he'da only had a quarter of the brains of Billy.... Huh?..He DID?...............auight tin...Nevermind.

CDR J said...

As I've said many times, the only story I want to hear about Jimmy Carter is that he died. It can be a quick, peaceful, painless death, or it can be any other kind. I just want to hear that he has died.

Attention Secret Service: this is in no way a threat to the former President. He is old. Old people die. It happens.

Anonymous said...

Miss Lillian is also reported to have said she thought that Billy should have been President, but she didn't think Jimmy could handle the gas station...

Old Squid.

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