Lawyer Reform

A Doctor's Plan for Legal Industry Reform My modest proposal to rearrange how lawyers do business.

A plan that would find virtually zero dissent, outside of lawyers and their bitches (lawmakers) “ Following are highlights of a proposed bill authorizing the dismantling of the current framework of law practice and instituting socialized legal care: • Contingency fees will be discouraged, and eventually outlawed ... • Legal Diagnosis Related Groups (DRGs), " Each potential legal situation will be assigned a relative value, and charges limited to this amount.  ... • Legal "death panels." Over 75? You will not be entitled to legal care for any matter. ... • Ration legal care. One may need to wait months to consult an attorney. ... • Physician controlled legal review. This is potentially the most exciting reform, with doctors leading committees for determining the necessity of all legal procedures and the fairness of attorney fees.... • Discourage/eliminate specialization. Legal specialists with extra training and experience charge more money, contributing to increased costs of legal care, making it unaffordable for many. This reform will guarantee a selection of mediocre, unmotivated attorneys but should help slow rising legal costs. Big shot under indictment? Classified National Archives documents down your pants? Sitting president defending against impeachment? Have FBI agents found $90,000 in your freezer? Too bad. Under reform you too may have to go to the government legal shop for advice. • Electronic legal records. We should enter the digital age and computerize and centralize legal records nationwide. All files must be in a standard, preferably inconvenient, format and must be available to government agencies. ... • Ban legal advertisements. Catchy phone numbers such as 1-800-LAWYERS would be seized by the government and repurposed for reporting unscrupulous attorneys. • New government oversight. Government overhead to manage the legal system will include a cabinet secretary, commissioners, ombudsmen, auditors, assistants, czars and departments. • Collect data about the supply of and demand for attorneys.Create a commission to study the diversity and geographic distribution of attorneys, with power to  .... • Lawyer Reduction Act (H.R. -3200). A self-explanatory bill that not only decreases the number of law students, but also arbitrarily removes 3,200 attorneys from practice each year. Textbook addition by subtraction. [The lovely details] ” Marc Miller