Saturday, January 03, 2009

Obama's Plan

NASCAR Driver Jeff Gordon
Fires Entire Pit Crew 


The action followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of the Obama Plan for NASCAR to employ inner city youngsters. He was persuaded by a recent documentary on Court TV on how gang bangers from Harlem, Chicago & Los Angeles were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.  It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team as most races are won or lost in the pits.  However-Gordon got more than he bargained for!
 
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-numbered, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
Tim W

Nice Doggy

A Schlong Christmas?
This is one of those mysteries, like how a Chicago drug dealer became President. 
Nobody can explain it. From Tim W

A National Treasure

Ronald Reagan - A Time for Choosing
If Renaldo Maximus gave this speech today, I wonder, would he finish with a clarion call to grab torches, pitchforks, and shotguns, and win the war against our greatest domestic enemy once and for all? I ask in the good, academic way.