Monday, November 23, 2009

500 F__KTons

Book Excerpt

Excerpt from my novel,
"Crescent at Five-o-clock High."

 I almost missed a deadline to submit the the next five chapters of my novel to the publisher.  Been pounding away furiously, and Fedex just picked them up.  Whew.  I thought some of you might enjoy reading a snippet (Remember, my editor will fix spelling and punctuation).
Excerpt from my novel, "Crescent at Five-o-clock High.

Chapter XXVII - Arghhhh

Just an hour earlier Special Agent Jerry Moore's head had been comfortably nestled in Suzanne's soft bosom.  Soft like the chunk of plaster now under his foot wasn't.  Their reverie had been shattered by a harsh crack from the television speaker that cut the president's voice in mid sentence.  Then a shrieking, like when the power goes out in a sports bar with 30 seconds left on the clock.

"What do we know," Jerry asked the uniformed Secret Service guard, as he surveyed the destruction before them.?

"A meteor about the size of a bowling ball hit the capitol building at a speed in excess of 200,000 mph.  It cut through the stone like a hot knife through butter, and smashed into the House chamber, just moments after the State of the Union address began."

Jerry twirled a finger through his neatly trimmed beard, like a doctor doing a pelvic exam. "How in hell could that happen without a warning,"  he asked absently, not really expecting a reply?

But the guard answered.

"Funny that.  It seems a radar station in the Blue Ridge mountains picked it up.  The crew telephoned it in to the White House switch board, but it wasn't  relayed for several hours.  Then a staffer dismissed it as being a flight of stealth bombers expected at Andrews AFB.  One of those SNAFUs you only read about," he finished.

The chamber was a mess.  The meteor had ended its deadly journey from the vastness of space on the House floor.  Assembled congressmen listening to the speech, many preening for the C-Span camera that lazily scanned the assemblage, took the brunt of the blow.  Like a boxer who is distracted by his girl friend waving to him, and takes an upper-cut to the jaw.  He looked up to the gallery.  A piece of green and orange chiffon hung lazily from the railing, like pasta thrown against the cabinet door to see if it would stick, signifying ready to eat.  Just an hour ago he had seen the First Lady, wearing a dress made of that material, take her seat to much applause from the Democrats below. "She must be smithereens now," he thought.

"What's going on over there", he asked?  A pointed finger directed the guard's gaze to several dozen people engaged in some ceremony at the rear of the hall.

"That 's what's left of the Republican caucus.  They just voted to reorganize the House, and elected John Boone Speaker." 
"What the - "
Speaker Pirogi was killed in the blast, as was the Vice President, and every single Democrat except Sen. Frink  who was in the bathroom.  Boone will be the new president once they take President Ochumsky off  life support."


Our lady of the perpetually offended

Da meaning of demeaning
Via TigerHawk - English feminists are complaining that this Christmas ad for the Marks & Spencer department store is demeaning to women. ..
.. they have no idea how demeaning things can get.

Who wants to pull the wish bone?

 Here is a recipe I thought you would like for the holidays - Marc Miller

  1. 1 whole turkey
  2. 1 large lemon, cut into halves
  3. salt and pepper to taste
  4. butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
  • Heat oven to 350 degrees
  • Rub butter or oil over the skin of the turkey until it is completely coated.
  • Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.
  • Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat; 
  • Slide  lemon  halves  under  the  skin  with  the  peel  side  up, one on each side.  This way the  juice from the lemon will release into the breasts.
Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes.   Remove cover and continue
to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes.

If you've followed these steps correctly, your turkey should  look like the one in
the picture
gobble gobble

Obey makes the pissatorium

co-author of our $17.1 trillion  debt
gets religion
Obey: No surge without a tax 

House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey plans to demand a new surtax to pay for any new troop increases in Afghanistan, ABC News reports.

"There ain't going to be no money for nothing if we pour it all into Afghanistan," House Appropriations Chairman David Obey told ABC News in an exclusive interview. "If they ask for an increased troop commitment in Afghanistan, I am going to ask them to pay for it." Obey, a Democrat, made it clear that he is absolutely opposed to sending any more US troops to Afghanistan and says if President Obama decides to do that, he'll demand a new tax -- what he calls a "war surtax" -- to pay for it.
 National defense is constitutionally mandated,  Enshrining a schmuck president's hick brother's gas station is not. FA!

Party, PACS, Country

When your “representative” thinks it’s his job to represent Ze Pahty rather than his constituency, he’s a friggin’ tyrant. There’s no other way to put it. He shouldn’t just lose his seat. He should lose his head.  -Duggems
Q: “If you get to the final point and you are a critical vote for health care reform and every piece of evidence tells you if you support the bill you will lose your job, would you cast the vote and lose your job?”
A: Yes.

I can see your house

Virtual London
I can spend hours on these virtual tour deals ...

Especially good for killing time at work.  If your boss catches you, say you're looking for terrorists


In Passing
 Today's guest common 'tater

Billy Carter gas station historic?
The legislation calls for the park service to take over the gas station,

How galling was this?  Chinesecommiemofos questions costs of U.S. healthcare reform
When parody is the truth, where's the parody?

Warming's impacts sped up, worsened since Kyoto (AP) – 17 hours ago
la la la la la la la  emails show hoax la la la la la la la

So, let's get this straight?  One viewer of  hundreds of thousands in the LA market complained, and Fox Sports responds to the demands of one offended individual and axes its broadcast team for one game?

 Why is John King working for CNN?
Asks Dems: Is ObamaCare Important Enough to Buy Votes? (H/T News busters)

During our last Great Depression it was rum running.  Are we looking at  word running this go around?
  • The Associated Press expect you to pay for a license to quote as little as five words from its articles ...
  • Now I notice that NRO's Kathryn Jean Lopez says I need "permission to ... excerpt this copyrighted material."