Friday, June 11, 2010

California v Texas

"SPOT ON" - TimW

California Texas

Boned Jello

Boned Jello

Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
1. Governor starts to intervene, then reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural, and allows coyote to kill the dog.

2. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 to get checked for diseases and bite wound bandaged.

3. Animal control captures coyote and spends $1,200 testing it for diseases and another $1,500 to relocate it, then spends $1,200 testing dead dog for diseases.

4. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.

5. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.

6. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.

7. Governor's body guard is fired for not stopping the attack. State spends $75,000 to train new security agent.

8. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files $5,000,000 suit against the state.

9. Governor buys a new pure breed dog $ 5,000

1. Governor pulls 45 caliber side arm, shoots coyote, and keeps jogging with his dog.

2. Total cost: $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

3. Buzzards eat dead coyote.

Any wonder why California is broke?


Arthur said...

Heh, actually it was a .380

Webrider said...

Gotta love our guv! Made for much fun reading all the whining from the Peta types in the local lib rag, the Austin American Statesman.

pdwalker said...


Brillant comparison.

Having met a few larger than life Texans, I can believe it.

JMcD said...

In the California case there was the crisis counseling for the co-workers in the Governors office at $67,000.00.
The counseling was effective, as only two co-workers had to have follow up intensive psychiatric $79,000.00.
One of these fine employees has been retired with full benefits and the other is "back on the job" though on a lightened work load, pending the outcome of a follow up evaluation.(at $7,269.99)
Our hearty best wishes go out to all these unfortunate victims of yet another GWB blunder.

Anonymous said...

But wasn't the shooting in an annex of Berkeley (Austin)?

"We just love Austin, it bears no resemblance to Texas" - Californians I knew in Cali that moved to the sticks.

DougT said...

California governor, legislature, and assorted politicos blame attack on: (1) the loss of coyotes' "natural habitat" due to unchecked capitalism and rampant deregulation; and (2) Arizona's illegal immigrant identification statute. Various levels of California government propose a ban on all private economic activity in the state and substituting the Peso and California IOUs as the official state currencies.

Anonymous said...

Fer heavens sake, isn't anyone going to mention the Grizzly Bear that ate the 'relocated' coyote the next day?

Or was that the one the rattlesnake bit?

It is so hard to keep track of those with the antiquated species re-location program we have. I suspect we can appoint a committee to determine if we should upgrade the software and servers. Don't worry about the cost, as we have to preserve these animals 'for the children'...


DougM said...

They missed the grant for a study on converting coyotes to vegetarianism.
Well, there were actually two studies. The other one was to decide whether coyotes should be vegetarians, vegans, or what was it, lacto-ovo-somethings.

Chris in Texas said...

When perry goes down to the border and takes care of "coyotes" in a similar manner, I'll be impressed.
Until then, *yawn*

Post a Comment

Just type your name and post as anonymous if you don't have a Blogger profile.