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Friday, October 22, 2010
8 comments:
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Anonymous said...
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Dear Slum Landlord
We are not your stupid tenants of byegone years. We understand exactly what you are trying to do. We are angry because we don't like you, we don't trust you, and you are an incompetent socialist. BTW, now, you are the stupid tenant in OUR house. Get the fuck out of OUR house. Get the fuck out of OUR country. Take your Kenyan squirrel monkey with you.
Nasty letter to follow.
A Taxpayer.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick -
10/22/10, 5:36 PM
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Cheesy said...
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Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick;
Has a squirrel monkey offended you in some way? -
10/22/10, 8:01 PM
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Anonymous said...
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Cheesy - One crapped on the hood of my car once, but I'd prefer that monkey to the current WH resident. He crapped all over my future.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick -
10/22/10, 11:19 PM
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Alear said...
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Lt. Col., I was wondering if this could be your squirrel monkey, but we are informed it's an ape.
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10/23/10, 11:57 AM
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Anonymous said...
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I called them squirrel monkeys because they are colored about the same as a gray squirrel, but I think they were a type of vervet monkey. Anyhow one fine day near Durban, one jumped up on the hood of my car. After I grew tired of waiting for him (big blue balls and a red pecker - it was a him) to dismount, I drove on down the road, him hanging onto the windshield wiper. When we came near a bunch of his chums in a big tree, he crapped on the hood and then ran off to play with his friends.
Alear - that was a fugging APE man. 300 lbs. Jeezuflip what a nightmare on the loose. He/she could rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick -
10/23/10, 4:39 PM
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Alear said...
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LCGTd,
Once we were touring Kruger, and a squadron of baboons mistook our vehicle for a playground. My guests were new to Africa. I'm not a stern sort, but they took this order to heart: "Don't even think of moving this van or opening up a window. Someone light us up a bowl, watch the show." -
10/23/10, 7:02 PM
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Anonymous said...
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Alear - That must be SOP for the Kruger baboons. I had the same experience. I can still see one of those toothy buggers yaaaaawning, face up against my windshield.
The rangers there used to tell us "Never, never, never get out of your car, no matter what happens. If you break down, stay in the car and wait. We will come find you when you don't appear at camp by sundown." I recall reading a story in the Joburg paper about a guy who decided on a side trip down a road marked 'closed' with the circle slash sign. He got stuck in a washout, and being on a closed road, the rangers didn't find him on their first search after he was no show. He spent the night in the car, terrified after a pride of lions came to check him out and tried to get in the car. In the process, they pulled all the tires off the wheels with their teeth and claws. Ever dismount a car tire with hand tools? How about with just your teeth? Me neither.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick -
10/23/10, 10:55 PM
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Alear said...
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Great Story, Lt. Col. Perhaps next time Rodg puts up an Africa pic, or we just feel like threadjacking, we can swap other Dark Continent tales.
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10/24/10, 7:46 PM
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