Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Tain't no python

This is a 15 foot Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake - the largest ever caught on record, in fact. This snake was found just south of Jacksonville FL.

DonM's big snake

The legend is that Barn Army Lt. CPL Don M was in Florida to pick up an extradited fugitive, when he heard screams and hollerin' from deputies behind the jail.  Don jumped on what he thought was a python and strangled it. When he found out it was a rattlesnake,  he turned ashen and said, "Sumbitch, I'm allergic to rattlesnake pizen! Good thing it only bit me in the ass, what's saddle-leathered and don't puncture so good."
        More facts.
  1. · One bite from a snake of this size would contain enough venom to kill over 40 full grown men.
  2. · The head of this snake alone is larger than the hand of a normal sized man.
  3. · A bite from those fangs would comparable to being stabbed by two curved, 1/4 inch diameter screwdrivers.
  4. · The knife being used to draw out the fangs for the bottom picture has a blade around 4 inches long.
  5. · This snake is estimated to have weighed over 170 pounds. (How much do you weigh?)
  6. · Notice the girth of this snake as compared to the leg in the first picture (and he is not a small man).
  7. · A snake of this size could easily swallow a 2 year-old child (and dogs, pigs, etc).
  8. · A snake this size has an approximately 5 1/2 foot accurate striking distance. (The distance for an average size rattlesnake is about 2 feet.)
  9. · This snake has probably been alive since George Bush Sr. was President.
  10. · Now just ask yourself these questions: What has this snake been feeding on and where are its offspring?
We're all proud of you Don!


DougM said...

What district was this Democrat congressman from?

Anonymous said...

Damn, that's inside my range fan.


Anonymous said...

clem said...

I hope they didn't kill it. Imagine how much venom you could milk from that thing.

B....... said...

Every party has its POOPER!

TimO said...

Ex-business partner of my wife used to take his kids Boy Scout troop camping in the Everglades and had to kill more than one 7-foot rattler. He brought one over to our house tacked out on an 8ft. board, drying out so he could have boots made from it.

Anonymous said...

I was a wunderin' how you could pick-up a 170 lb thing with that metal pole, pretty strong guy to do it. what with no fulcrum and all. just sayin'

john III

Juice said...

So the snake has grown along the way as any good fish story would go, it's still entertaining.
Last week my hubby killed a 30" Western Diamond Back about equal distance from my nekkid ankles. My first response before him grabbing the shovel? "Get your camera!" We have the poor thing alive and dead in photos, but hubby didn't accept my suggestion to eat it. *dayum* Few days later, at least 4' long Speckled King snake. Very beautiful. No. We didn't kill 'im. :)

Anonymous said...

john III - the pole is not being held by the guy in the pic. The pole is probably wedged and if you look closely, the guy has both hands free of the pole and is taking a picture.
No doubt there is some perspective enlargement, but that's still a bigger rattler than I want to meet in my back yard.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

Mockingbird said...

That's amazing!
Back in 1999, I looked at the vacant 4 acres behind that very jail of St. Johns County. The property was rimmed by a small impenetrable swamp that I thought was good protection and privacy.
The price was abit steep; the snakes wouldn't have bothered me.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Lt. Col. I assumed someone off camera was holding it, as I could see the man in the pic holding a camera too.


Anonymous said...

Am I too late to call BS?

They don't get that big....unfortunatly.


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