Friday, February 10, 2012

Merge a Clio and a Taurus ...


The New 2012 Ford
Ford Clitaurus

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.

 I didn't see it test driven on Top Gear, so  I'm pretty sure TimW made this up.


DougM said...

• Buy/lease? You could always pay by the trip and take a cab. Or walk.
• Used ones come loaded with so much baggage, it'll never handle well.
• The exhausts still smell.
• The clock is always slow.
• The sammichmaker will fail within a year.
• The GPS is in the back seat, and you can't turn it off.
• The horn never fails, though.
• They come with a built-in towing package, and used ones may come with trailers.
• The charging light is almost always on.
• The headlights eventually begin to point down, which costs a fortune to fix.
• Eventually, the cost of battery replacements mysteriously skyrockets and you find the latest copy of Auto Erotic under the seat.
• They perform well when driven by sailors, evidently, what they call "the little man in the boat."
Nah, screw 'em.

Alear said...

Another classic DougM comment. 10!

Anonymous said...

Do these new tires make my trunk look fat?

Sir H the (you never get me in one of them sumbitches) Comet

Post a Comment

Just type your name and post as anonymous if you don't have a Blogger profile.