Monday, February 27, 2012

TCEQ Complaint Report

David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to defecate in the woods

Res Ipsa Loquitur
This is a portion of an actual complaint received by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality:

INITIAL PROBLEM: On 03/09/2010 a complaint was received at the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality Waco Regional Office. The complaint alleges that David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to defecate in the woods. It also alleged that there is no restroom and Mr. Cousins is planning to extend plumbing into a creek next to the cabin. The cabin is located at 2785 FM 1246 E., Thornton (Limestone County), Texas 76687-2536. (fb/ks)

-This is the full resolution to the matter, after much nattering about.

RE: TCEQ Incident No. 136926

Dear Tim,

We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight. The culprit flew away but I did get a description. It was red. The gift it left was white.

In order to complete our investigation, I must ask, should we inquire into urination, or only defecation? I strongly believe that both are taking place, since hunters have long been suspected of taking a good amount of liquid refreshments with them into the woods. Also, we are collecting samples of the activities of these diabolical defecating reprobates. Should we send these to you, or directly to Austin?

Lastly, please allow us to to handle this at the local level, and do not involve the federal government. When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrates would only add to our misery.

"Don't mess in Texas."

Very truly yours,

Daniel Burkeen
County Judge
Limestone County    (full report)

   R.W. Forsythe


Cheesy said...

Happy to be in Texas!!
Can you imagine the shitstorm this would cause in CA?

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I freaking love Texas, and Texans. It's my ferveant hope Texas reverts back to nationhood, and the anchor for the resoration of our nation.

Anonymous said...

Despite my frequent encounters with Texans on the road which has led me to conclude that the handicap symbol on a Texas license plate is redundant, they are unexcelled at dealing with leftist moonbats once you get away from Austin.

DougM said...

Reckon if it were #OccupyHuntingCabin, it'd be okay with this feller, though.

TomR armed in Texas said...

The spirit of Sam Houston, William B Travis, Jim Bowie and Audie Murphy lives on. If we secede we will not send an ambassador to the UN. (and maybe not to DC). And our capital will be moved to Luckenbach, or Cut and Shoot, or Gun Barrel City.

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