Saturday, September 28, 2013

I only told her to do that and she did not do it.



What I See                          


H-1B workers in line for Obamacare work
IT requirements of the Affordable Care Act are being met under state contracts that allow, in their silence, the use of temporary visa workers

Res Ipsa Loquitor
This "Chat" will take place, and very soon
[An agent will be with you shortly.]
[You are now chatting with Indrajeet .]
Indrajeet : Welcome to Service Center  My name is Indrajeet. How may I assist you today?

NOTE: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat UNLESS ASKED.

Indrajeet : If I understand you correctly you are facing issues in making the new affordable health care work.
Indrajeet : Am I correct?
Pam Dobbertin : Huh?  Is this verizon?  I'm trying to drop everting but basic internet.
Indrajeet : Okay
Indrajeet : Do not worry I will certainly try my best to help you out.
Indrajeet : But first I notice that you have not enrolled in affordable health care.
Indrajeet : Am I correct?
Pam Dobbertin : Is this verizon?
Indrajeet : Before that can you please confirm me that you live at 4120 Tripp ave in Chicago Illinois?
Pam Dobbertin : Yes.
Indrajeet : Very good.
Indrajeet :  If you are chatting from the same system, the best and fastest way to pull up your health maintenance file  information would be by pressing the (Ctrl+Alt+S+666) keys at the same time.
Pam Dobbertin : I would like to speak to your supervisot
Indrajeet : Thank you.
Indrajeet : Can you please confirm me with your email?
Pam Dobbertin : mollysmom@verizon.net.
Indrajeet : Thanks.
Indrajeet : To resolve the issue we will perform certain steps
Indrajeet : Can you confirm that your VISA card number is 8125 7200 1616 5042?
Pam Dobbertin : I will only speak with you supervisor or I will end this chat.
Indrajeet :  Please wait.
[An agent will be with you shortly.]
[You are now chatting with Raheela.]
Raheela : Welcome to Compliance Center   My name is Raheela. How may I assist you today?
Pam Dobbertin : I wan to dump everything but basic cable and internet.
Raheela :  Very good.
Raheela :  But first we will enroll you in affordable health care. 
Raheela :  I will go ahead and process that for you now.
Raheela :  Your credit card information for VISA 8125 7200 1616 5042 shows you only have $1200 left on your credit limit.
Pam Dobbertin WHI THE HELL IS THIS? IS THIS VERIZON? 
Raheela : This is  IRS Compliance Bureau. .How will you make up for the shortfall in your in VISA 8125 7200 1616 5042 for first month enrollment? 
Raheela : Hello?
Raheela : Do not disconnect. 
Raheela  Very well.  An associate will be visiting you shortly at 4120 Tripp ave in Chicago Illinois.

[Chat Ended]



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I and my friends Smith & Wesson will be waiting for your visit....

Anonymous said...

Very much like AT&T customer service these days, I found much to my delight when moving service recently. Whilst gen-u-wine A-mur-kin representatives can be accessed by accident, a lot of the time you will be routed to the Indian Sub-Continent, and hilarity will ensue. Now here is the fine print they will not tell you about: Very much by accident, I discovered that AT&T has an "advocate" representative available for those situations when the hilarity turns to goat-screwing. I experienced a high volume of goat-screwing in trying to get my service moved, and ended up resorting to the advocate people several times. You have to ask for one, Indira or Sanjay will not automatically shuttle you over to one while she's, um, entertaining herself, doing her goat-screw dance. But she will connect you with one immediately upon demand, and they will cut thru the horse shit for you.

It saved my Christianity more than once.

You are very welcome.

Sir H the Comet

Juice said...

Sir H the Comet, It's been my experience to say, "I wish to speak with someone in the United States, please" or "United States, please." It works. Is that the advocate?

Juice said...

Couldn't get this out of my mind while reading the post, so here it is~~

Matthew Bennell: [dials his phone] I'll get the police.

Telephone Operator: Police.

Matthew Bennell: Officer, I'd like to report four bodies in my backyard.

Telephone Operator: Wait right there Mr. Bennell.

Matthew Bennell: How do you know my name?
J
ack Bellicec: [Jack's eyes widen with fear] Hang up, Matthew.

Matthew Bennell: [into the phone] I didn't tell you my name.

Jack Bellicec: Hang up!

Matthew Bennell: [hangs up the phone] I didn't tell them my name!

Nancy Bellicec: That's because they're all part of it. They're all pods, all of them!

Yep. Just like that.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I have a tingle of the bad kind in my nether region.

Anonymous said...

Yes and mostly no, Juice. Usually Sanjay says it isn't possible to switch to either the United States, or a supervisor. But once, and only once, Vaheera finally agreed to switch me to a supervisor. She switched me to Saheen in Accounting. Indian accounting, of course. Saheen blew her stack and said she didn't understand why Vaheera switched me to her, they didn't do customer service in Accounting. Evidently ugly Americans have been dumped on her before. Anyway, Saheen informed me there was noting she could do for me, but then asked if I would like to speak to someone in the United States, and immediately switched me to some sweet-sounding young-sounding in San Diego, who handled the problem.

You have to very specifically ask in very plain English for an AT&T Advocate. That may not completely solve things, but, will get you moved along to the next step.

Sir H the Comet

Juice said...

wow Sir H, haven't had that problem ever. I was advised by an American rep' to ask for American. It has worked for me with ATT.

Juice said...

yeah, Rodger. Sci-Fi is fun until it moves into your neighborhood. For. Real.

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