Friday, February 21, 2014

Gushing here boss

 
Res Ipsa Loquitur         ALASKA WINS!

Mapping the long and short of sex
Maryland is number 16 in the country, with a duration of 3 minutes 15 seconds.



 A not-very-scientific ranking of states determined those that have the longest and shortest duration of sex.

Topping the list, by a large margin is New Mexico, where an act of love lasts just over 7 minutes, according to Nerve, an online magazine dedicated to sex, relationships and culture.

The data comes from Spreadsheets, a sex activity app that promises to "track your performance between the sheets."

The app monitors the users' movement and audio levels, using the phone's accelerometer and microphone.

How do we rank around here?

Honestly? Not great.

Maryland is number 16 in the country, with a duration of 3 minutes 15 seconds. The Old Line State has a little old man in it.

While the slogan reads "Virginia is for lovers," apparently love is very fleeting. Virginia ranks number 37, with a duration of 2 minutes 23 seconds.

And, while things take forever to get accomplished on Capitol Hill, love gets done very fast in the District of Columbia. D.C. is ranked number 45, with a duration of 2 minutes 8 seconds.

Alaska limps in at number 51, with an apologetic 1 minute 21 seconds.

Here's the entire list: (WTOP)
Ranking State - (Duration)
1 New Mexico - (7:01)
2 West Virginia - (5:38)
3 Idaho - (5:11)
4 South Carolina - (4:48)
5 Missouri - (4:22)
6 Michigan -(4:14)
7 Utah - (3:55)
8 Oregon - (3:51)
9 Nebraska - (3:47)
10 Alabama - (3:38)
11 Delaware - (3:33)
12 Hawaii - (3:28)
13 Wisconsin - (3:22)
14 North Dakota - (3:18)
15 Arizona - (3:17)
16 Maryland - (3:15)
17 Mississippi - (3:10)
18 Rhode Island - (3:09)
19 Connecticut - (3:07)
20 Texas - (3:06)
21 New Hampshire - (3:04)
22 Wyoming - (3:03)
23 New York - (3:01)
24 Pennsylvania - (2:58)
25 Maine - (2:58)
26 Washington - (2:51)
27 Iowa - (2:50)
28 Illinois - (2:49)
29 North Carolina - (2:47)
30 Tennessee - (2:46)
31 Kansas - (2:38)
32 California - (2:38)
33 Massachusetts - (2:31)
34 Florida - (2:29)
35 New Jersey - (2:28)
36 Indiana - (2:26)
37 Virginia - (2:23)
38 Oklahoma - (2:21)
39 Colorado - (2:21)
40 Minnesota - (2:19)
41 Ohio - (2:18)
42 Louisiana - (2:17)
43 Kentucky - (2:14)
44 Arkansas - (2:08)
45 District of Columbia - (2:08)
46 Nevada - (2:07)
47 Georgia - (2:07)
48 Montana - (2:03)
49 Vermont - (1:48)
50 South Dakota - (1:30)
51 Alaska - (1:21)


" Alaska limps in at number 51, with an apologetic 1 minute 21 seconds."
WTF?

The whole world is upside down.  Yet another bogus "man hating" story pushed by the Democrat Media Complex.

That paltry one minute 21 second sexual endurance makes Alaska men the most satisfied with their wife; girlfriend, or chance elevator partner  in the nation.  Women know that.  Think about it.  What does the quick climax tell your lover?  That's right.  It tells her that you find her uncontrollably sexy,  and only trying the mental  gymnastic of naming the 1958  Chicago White Sox roster keeps you in the saddle longer than 10-15 seconds!  My God. she brags about it to her girlfriends.

Must gotta be a whole lot of ugly in New Mexico though.

Marc Miller




"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

11 comments:

iri said...

If it takes more than a couple of minutes you're not doing it right.

Anonymous said...

Just looked at the numbers for DC. I'm sure that even a politician takes more than two minutes to screw a nation.
.

Anonymous said...


Alaska. . .1 minnit & 21 sextons, eh?

They must not have surveyed Todd Palin, cause I can't imagine him [or me for that matter] lasting that long with Sarah.

Geo

Phssthpok said...

Two things of note:

1. They track the length of time, but not the NUMBER of times.

2. Alaska v. New Mexico...think 'age demographics', and relate that back to point #1. There's a lot of retirees down in NM, and a lot of virile 'young bucks' up in Alaska.

Anonymous said...

Nah, it just means that there's a higher per-capita number of liars in New Mexico. Given the per-capita number of registered Democrats in the state, that sounds plausible.

Kim

Jess said...

I think their survey would be more accurate if they didn't accept submissions from adolescent boys, with a fresh bottle of hand lotion and the newest Swimsuit edition of Sport Illustrated.

Anonymous said...

Expect next year's numbers to shift significantly, given the number of states that are de-criminalizing pot. Better than viagra ever coulda been. Last for hours.

Anonymous said...

hmph. Would take me longer to make him a sandwich.

OldWife

Anonymous said...

So which state came in 57th?

Sir H the Comet

Rodger the Real King of France said...

That would be Yemen.

iri said...

"hmph. Would take me longer to make him a sandwich."

You're a good woman lady and I'll bet he knows it.

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