Saturday, March 08, 2014

Mooch’s cause celebre

  STFU Michelle               

 


Authorized Rant



 Let’s Move – the latest hypocrisy from the King and Queen of DoubleStandard Rule-by-Fiat-and-Innuendo.  Mooch’s cause celebre to reverse the trend of obesity and diabetes in kids within one generation so that babies being born during the last 3 years of her husband’s term can become adults who can actually see their own shoes and don’t have to listen to their arteries hardening while playing their mind-pablum video games.
 She’s announced an ambitious strategy involving celebrities, government, and private organizations to get kids to become more physically active, better nourished, off their butts, and slender.
 She’s building something called the “Partnership for a Healthier America” to analyze and work on the causes of childhood obesity with advertising, school curricula, athletics, food labels, and public service announcements designed to show children what foods are good for them and which ones aren’t.  (Uh . . . Duh!  Isn’t that the parents’ job?)
One of the tactics is to move food-package nutrition labels to the front instead of the side or back and make the fonts larger.  Cups used at soft-drink fountain machines would announce calorie content per container, as would canned and bottled drinks.
 Well, Bullshit!  I can show her how to reduce the waistlines of American kids in one generation:  just have HRH Obobo sign an EO making all mass media advertisement of foods illegal and subject to heavy fines.
 I mean, good grief!  Is there a single person alive in the US today who doesn’t know where the nearest MacDonald’s or BK or Taco Bell or KFC or bodega or vending machine is located?   Anyone who has a computer or a smart fone or a TV or who rides a bus or who picks up a magazine is constantly bombarded by advertisements for burgers, fries, pizzas, colas, sugar-coated cereals, pastries, tacos, burritos, steaks, hot dogs, chips, dips, and all manner of crunchy, salty, sweet, or fat snack items.  Seems pretty obvious to me that we’ve all got the freakin message.
And it’s always beautiful people, in-crowd people, slender people, fun people eating those burgers, those fries, those donuts, those chimichangas; it’s never a fat kid or some porker wearing stretch pants that she’s grown completely out of or some waddling 5-foot nothin nebbish with zits and love handles.  It’s non-stop power of suggestion.  Take away the print ads, the pop-ups, the billboards, the TV commercials for fast food and non-nutritional breakfast items like sugar-coated fluff and deep-fried cholesterol and kids will stop packin on the padding in just a few months.
 And take their goddam electronic games away from ‘em and let ‘em play in the creeks, the vacant lots, the woods, the parks, even the back yard . . . let ‘em get muddy, and scratched up, and knocked on their butts and actually lose a game now and then to get a taste of reality and they might try a little harder next time . . . maybe even PRACTICE so they can get better at it.
 And flunk a few of ‘em who don’t do their work in school, let ‘em repeat a grade; make getting a driver’s permit contingent on being in school with at least a C average; tell ‘em they’re definitely NOT o.k. when they turn in a paper late or don’t do homework or get half the questions wrong on a test.  Tell ‘em their delicate little fe-e-e-e-lings are the least of our friggin worries about their welfare.
 Of course doing all this would require first getting rid of the teachers’ unions and watching a few kids die from accidents rather than diabetes, but if the interminable and relentless encouragement to eat all the wrong stuff were stopped and schools were re-geared to prepare kids for real skills in the real world, we’d wind up with fewer Fat Alberts and more Li’l Rascals.  We’d see kids going to doctors for busted arms and banged-up heads instead of insulin prescription readjustments and ADHD medications.  There’d be more bandages and slings than needles and tablets.
 If it has really become necessary for gubmint to get involved in minimizing the obesity factor of health care, then goddamit let’s do it right and eliminate the siren call of salt, fat, and sugar from fast-food greasy spoons, cholesterol oases, and fructose emporiums.  If Their Royal Highnesses can rule by fiat without the advice, consent, and approval of Congress, then let’s call up flank speed on this attack and damn the burritos.  Incidentally, if you asked me how she really feels about the future of American children, especially the non-African ones, I'd say this pretty much sums it up:
 And while they’re at it, TRH might get rid of that goddam Geico menagerie, Fred fucking Thompson’s reverse mortgage spots, and Flo
Ron Metzger


1 comment:

leelu said...

...and yet, there's the guy who lost 50+ pounds eating (thoughtfully) only at McDonalds. It's not where you eat, but what.

Mostly, parents need to 'man up', as you suggest, and simply make sure the kids are eating right.

Killing ads at this point probably won't make a difference.

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