Friday, April 18, 2014

The Christian Bear

Bear with me

First day of deer season, and Harry was up before dawn and on his way to to a favorite upstate hunting ground.  Once there he settled in, drank a cup of coffee from his thermosand promptly fell asleep.  He woke some hours later.  Even before he opened his eyes though, he felt the presence; could smell, and feel the heat, from something very close.  He opened eyes to behold a very large, and very menacing black bear looming over him.  The bear's left foot rested on the stock of his Remington 700.    Harry had heard enough tales about predatory blacks targeting humans in this area to know he was in very, very deep trouble.

Now, he was not a religious person.  In fact, Harry had zero exposure to praying and church stuff of any kind, but in this moment of sheer terror he closed his eyes and blurtedNo, screamed, at the top of his lungsJesus, please!  If you're out there, please at least make this a Christian bear who will listen to your command.  And FLASH!  Harry opened his eyes and beheld the beast on bended knees, paws clapped together in prayer, and clearly intoning:

"Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen."


BlogDog said...

I shot my first turkey the other day!
Scared the crap out of the people in the frozen food section though.

Anonymous said...

Jerry Reed's first big hit was 'Amos Moses'. On the flip side was 'The Preacher and the Bear'. Its on youtube. That oldie made me think of it.

Helly said...

TY, Rodge. Our temporary reverend is departing this Sunday. A wonderful man. I'll press a copy of this story into his hand as we bid adieu.

Mike C said...

"Harry had heard enough tales about predatory blacks targeting humans"

Now that's funny...

Rodger the Real King of France said...

cool Helly!

Anonymous said...

"you're not here for the huntin', are ya?"

Sir H the Comet

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