"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Just after getting back from Pershing's Mexican Punitive Expedition, I was talking to one of my colleagues named Grover about a problem that was blowing fuses in the machine we were debugging. The machines had a big rack of 15-20 cartridge fuses, maybe 1/2 to 3/4 inch diameter, 2 to maybe 5 inches long. Grover said he knew how to fix the problem, and launched into this story about debugging one of these machines on another jobsite. Seems they blew so many fuses, they ran out of spares before they could find the problem, so he cut some lengths of copper pipe, wrote his name on them with a Magic Marker, jammed them into the fuse holders, then successfully found the problem.A couple years later, the home office got a call from this customer wanting to know where to buy "Grover" fuses. True story.Your display board made me smile remembering this.Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick
Back in the day British motorcycles ( and everyone else) used only one fuse, a 15 amp tubular job. If that blew, you immediately went from cruising down the road to coasting to a stop. The fix was to wrap the fuse in the foil from your cigarette pack and cautiously touch it back in while watching closely for the telltale smoke to identify the miscreant wire. Find the worn insulation, tape it up, and close the fuseholder.The incentive to replace the "50 amp slo-blo" when you got home was that if you didn't and the problem came back, you were looking at coasting a flaming motorcycle to a stop.
Lucas wiring harness, cotton fiber soaked in sparrow snot. Warning don't get it wet, don't get oil on it,don't let it rub on anything, and don't touch it,.....Lucas apparently was THE Prince of Darkness.
ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCASPositive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness” 1842-1903A few Lucas quips:The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other threeswitch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.If Lucas made guns, wars would not startBack in the ‘70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.This has been referred to as the smoke theory when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.Tim
Once I owned a lovely '64 Norton Atlas (very like this one: http://motorbike-search-engine.co.uk/classic_bikes/1968_norton_atlas.jpg ) that was POSESSED of a Lucas electric system. The ignition was accomplished by means of a magneto, fitted with points and a cam. The points were carried on a rotating plate attached to the center shaft, while the cam was formed as an oval ring, stationary inside the case, in which the points WHIRLED LIKE DERVISHES. Brilliant! Although it would chatter itself out of timing in a hundred miles, their solution was to make it such that you could time the thing quite simply with a broomstraw in the spark plug hole (to find TDC) and a matchbook cover to set the point spacing. I eventually had to buy a lathe so I could make Whitworth threads to keep it in good repair. British mechanical philosophy: if oil is leaking out, dirt isn't getting in. When it ran, though, it was truly lovely, despite the constant smell of hot Permatex. Or perhaps because of it.--Jimmy don\'t play that
Comments from an acquaintance from the late 1970's who owned a Norton Commando. "It runs great but I had to make a few mods, replaced the carbs with Mikuni's, ran string around the case studs and applied hi temp silicone sealant. Replaced the ignitions system and wiring. After market shocks and brakes. "Dang, how much of the original bike do you have left? "Well lets see I replaced the seat and tires and uhm, I guess just the frame?"
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