"If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
I'd add one, Rodge; but then you'd win.Oh, wait …
http://thoughtcatalog.com/christopher-hudspeth/2013/08/50-hilarious-brilliant-mitch-hedberg-one-liners-that-wouldve-made-epic-tweets/For your consideration, more chuckle worthy quotes.Josh
I'm starting an all Trisomic band. It's called "Syndrome of a Down."
I ran into a screen door and strained myself.Moo-lin-yan Nabo-li-don
I fell into my generator and made a spectacle of myselfOpticians joke
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...oy vey ole'
Two peanuts walked into a dark alley. One was assaulted…Moo-lin-yan Nabo-li-don
Number 17: That vacuum cleaner really sucked!
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