Friday, April 17, 2015

FRANK FELDMAN




a major award                                                  







FRANK FELDMAN
The Legend




    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

    He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank. "

    Passenger: Who?

    Cabbie: Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the   time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab . . . things    happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.


     Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.

    Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete! He could have  won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy!

    Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

    Cabbie: There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me.  I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.

    Passenger: Wow, quite a guy!

    Cabbie:  Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to trreat a woman and make her feel good. His clothing was always immaculate; shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.

    Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?

    Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank.  He died and I married his  fuckin​g​ widow.

(Tommy Bob Walsh)

5 comments:

Stu Tarlowe said...

A great old joke, and very well-told!

As a Joke Wrangler, I would make only one little tweak: Change the last word to "widow".

Cheers, Stu Tarlowe

SoylentGreen said...

Frank Feldman could even tell the perfect joke!

Rodger the Real King of France said...

said and done Stu

toadold said...

For some reason that guy in the photo makes me think of McCain, after all he thinks he's perfect.

JMcD said...

Frank didn't get the wife he really wanted, being a guy who held in high regard, a well experienced and sexually knowledgeable woman.
He had read about her years before, and always carried in his wallet, the clipped out newspaper headline, singing the praises of of Virginia...how you say... Peep..Pay..Leen..Nay.
Oh, here is a copy:
500 MEN LAY VIRGINA PIPELINE

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