Monday, July 17, 2017

Candy Little Girl?


Don’t get freaked out if it feels weird at first. Your first few experiences with masturbation might be a little bit uncomfortable and emotionally charged. It’s a new experience. Once something feels good, stick with it. Consistency is key.

How to Masturbate if You Have a Vagina

Step by step.

Let’s talk about how to masturbate. It’s easy enough to get online and find articles that gleefully say things like, “Go forth and masturbate! You liberated goddess!” or, “Learn about your body by figuring out what you like!” Most likely, some of your favorite celebrities have talked about masturbation.

When you do have anal sex, go slowly.
That being said, yes, you will come in contact with some fecal matter. You are entering a butthole. It is where poop comes out. Expecting to do anal play and see zero poop isn’t particularly realistic. It’s NOT a big deal. Everyone poops. Everyone has a butt.
But, what about if you’re totally on board with that line of thinking, can’t wait to get cracking, but don’t know where to begin. Sex education in the U.S. (and across the globe, TBH) is kind of a disaster. Only 13 states mandate that students be taught sex ed that is medically accurate, which means scientifically based.

On top of this conundrum, zero schools are required to teach about pleasure. Everything is based in reproductive safety. You know, the old “here’s how not to get pregnant” spiel. While that is undeniably important information, there is more to sex than that.

No wonder you know nothing about masturbation. It’s not your fault, bb. You’re likely not going to learn about the clitoris in school, the part of your sexual organs that is solely designed for pleasure.

Last week I tripped over what I thought was - had to be! -  some sort of  sick parody.  Or  some underground site for the sick Gen Hillary crowd. Covered  topics like how to, and why it's natural and good to masturbate.  And  how to engage in anal sex.  It was very obviously aimed at teeny boppers.  Any way, I moved on and forgot about it.  Until this morning when Stu Tarlowe tipped me off to this article by Matt Walsh.

It's definitely time for that knife fight on the desert.


Anonymous said...

"Can't wait to get cracking"!! I love it!!

Rip Tide said...

I remember my first sexual encounter like it was yesterday. It was dark, I was afraid, I was alone....

toadold said...

"As an ancient Chinese philosopher once said, "Would you like some rice cake little girl?"

Ralph Gizzip said...

If boys play "Pocket Pool" what do girls play?

The "Slot Machine"!

Tom Smith said...

If I had a vagina handy I wouldn't need to masturbate.

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