Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Two agog, at least.

Media outlets are agog, and some are even two gogs, over the latest allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. A woman who may or may not exist has given the New Yorker magazine details of an incident that may or may not have taken place but which has been confirmed by several witnesses who say they weren’t there. Writer Ronan Farrow says the possibly imaginary woman did not remember the time or location of the incident but that this is a normal reaction to sexual trauma especially when suffered by people who may not be real.

Meanwhile, super-trustworthy porn star lawyer Michael Avenatti says he has a client who has extremely credible evidence that she has made up a story about Kavanaugh which, if true, would end his career. Avenatti said he could not give full details until there were at least a dozen cameras pointed in his direction, but he hinted the story involves six underage girls, a rubber chicken, a gang of pirates, three circus clowns and a graphic description of a sexual organ that may or may not belong to a woman who is absolutely sure Kavanaugh would have brutally raped her if they had ever met.

In the wake of Avenatti’s charge, Senator Dianne Feinstein said the Kavanaugh hearing must be suspended immediately until more news networks could broadcast the baseless allegations so that people who didn’t listen to the news very carefully would understand the sort of monster it sounds as if they’re dealing with. A new poll shows that voters now oppose the confirmation of whoever we’re talking about to whatever he’s nominated to until whatever’s at issue has been thoroughly investigated, now leave us alone.

Metzger (“Wish I’d written this”)


Anonymous said...

Sounds legit

bocopro said...

Incidentally, here's the site I stole that from:


Forgot to include the attribution in my post.

Brian E. said...

I thought as much - while reading it on your post I found myself thinking: this sounds just like Andrew Klavan’s very tongue in cheek writing style. No one else writes quite like that: Such eloquence! Such sarcasm! ;-)

Murphy(AZ) said...

To the well-meaning people at the New Yorker:

What the hell are you smoking, and can I have some?

Post a Comment

Just type your name and post as anonymous if you don't have a Blogger profile.