Kids & Moms

Moms

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your Mom? 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your Mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the st uff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms and dads? 1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your Mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your Mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Mother Superior

Codec Problems solved

Zippety-Doo-Dah

Somehow I buggered up some MPEG codecs (drivers used to read and create video), and it's been driving me nuts.  Today while I was at BJ's buying grub, I walked past the software bin,  and right there on top was Roxio's DVD Copy2, for $29.95.  Since the box said it would convert from one format to another, I thought the chances were good for getting a nice MPEG-1 Decoder, and whatever else made stuff work.   Yup.  I'm back in business, plus I got the bundled CinePlayer DVD player, and a DVD copy utility.  USA USA!

Schlong TV

Announcing the NEW C&S Educational Video Channel

Today, ADD Prevention

E.J. Dionne Jr.

E.J. Dionne Jr.

When I want keen insight into today's political scene, I rush right over to E.J. Dionne Jr.  Bwahaaaaaaaaa! E.J. is at his arrogant, elitist, and condescending best today, beginning with the title "A Down Home Lesson for the GOP?"  The lesson is supposed to be that Australia's conservative prime minister, John Howard, has held onto power for a decade because he tricks even liberals (Like Dionne) into wanting stuff like teaching history the old way. Last week, Howard organized a "history summit" to call attention to the decline of Australian history as a subject in high schools. In most states here, history has been subsumed within (and thus displaced by) a broader social studies curriculum focused on "studies of society and the environment." "I think we have taught history as some kind of fragmented stew of moods and events," Howard declared, "rather than some kind of proper narrative." This is the sort of cultural and educational fight familiar to Americans. My gut is with those who see history as a distinct subject. Wherever we live, we should know our country's national story. Excuse me, but this smacks of Time magazine's revelation, a few years back, that "Men and Women are different."  Besides, that liberals would  promote an honest telling of history is laughable. When ex-history professor Newt Gingrich began a series of instruction on our nation's founding - a History directly opposed to that which liberal icons like Howard Zinn peddle - and broadcast it on GOPAC television, democrats responded with - you guessed it - fabricated charges of illegality, and ethics violations (all subsequently  proved false).  Any way, after this false start, Dionne's commentary dissolves into an olio of liberal claptrap that  I defy anybody to make sense of.  How is it that the New York Times has not stolen this guy for its Op-Ed page?

Nice comment

Heart warming rags to riches story

Francis Pirretto's comment to a post earns memorialization in the Curmudgeonly & Skeptical  pantheon.  Note the elements that earned him this honor. Begins by making me, Rodger Schlong, look good, without being smarmy. Comment is elucidative that he actually read the post. He augments with actual quote from a smart person, which tends to associate me with knowledge. He's dead right. This is a remarkably important observation. It helps to illuminate what Thomas Sowell called "the vision of the anointed" and its effect upon the national political discourse. In short, the Democrats feel themselves to be so morally superior to those of other leanings that they feel the longstanding tradition of past presidents disinvolving themselves from politics cannot and does not apply to them. They're morally licensed -- indeed, they might well feel morally obligated -- to act as super-arbiters of all things, and the effect on the actual conduct of a successor administration be damned. Revolting. # posted by Francis W. Porretto : 7:44 AM EDT

Hard Butter

Today's Kitchen Secret

Hi Rodge: I'm hoping you can help me.  Every morning when I spread refrigerated butter, it shreds my breakfast toast. I leave the house in a bad mood, and my co-workers have taken to calling me Miss Grumpy Pants.  Can you make me Miss Happy Pants? Sue from Omaha OMG Sue, yes.  I had the same problem until I invented the Vegetable Peeler®© method  (see pictures).  You're welcome to  use it, but don't try and steal this idea, because I'm going to sell it.  :))

Center for Union Facts

When Hezbocrats are up in arms, there's some truth being told

Rightwing Operatives Launch Dishonest Campaign Targeting Public Employees Progressive States Network HFS! alert

These ads by The Center for Union Facts are upsetting the right people

Television ads Radio ads DMV customer service School report on labor unions What if Unions controlled class elections? Thanks union bosses Radio: You're Not Stupid (.mp3) Radio: IRS Phone Call (.mp3)

Say it loud, say it often.

HEZBOCRATS!

blabbermouths

wtf

John Kerry is not an anomaly. Think about it. When Republican Presidents, or failed presidential candidates (damned few of those out there) have finished their terms, or lost their election, they pretty much retire. With dignity. Look at Democrats. Carter, Clinton, Gore, Kerry ... they just never STFU! Ever. WTF.

Scarface Fucks

Funny, but harsh language (just one word though)

girlspot

The elephant

Elephant Tail

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.  On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant.... Cuzzin Ricky

To scale Nazi Train

I honestly don't know who did this, but it's amazing

Ned Lamont hands out flags

Behead Hillary Dissers

I think I may be about to lose my mind

Ramsey grave

Fool me once ...

Sheehan surgery

Sheehan surgery goes horribly wrong

‘Survivor’ to Divide Teams Along Political Lines

'Survivor' goes political.

‘Survivor’ to Divide Teams Along Political Lines For the first time since it went on the air in 2000, the hit CBS reality television program “Survivor” will divide its teams — or tribes, as they are known on the show — along political lines. This fall, teams of five members will be made up of liberal Democrats, and conservative Republicans.. They will compete in weekly challenges against each other, and the losing group will have to vote out a member of its own team. Mark Burnett, the series producer, said in a telephone interview yesterday that the decision to organize the teams along ideological lines was made in group discussions with CBS executives and was in no way intended to promote political divisiveness. “In America today,” Mr. Burnett said, “the perception is that we, er liberals, are a collection of effete cowards who cut and run at the first sign of trouble.  We hope to dispel that perception, in a safe environment. ”

Hezbocrats.

"Hezbocrats." "a roaming band of militant guerrillas seeking their party's 2008 nomination for president "

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day (9:37 A.M.) Kerry Blasts Name-Calling by Wal-Mart Backer By JOSH GERSTEIN - Staff Reporter of the Sun Democrats are calling on Wal-Mart to repudiate a statement by a talk show host and Wal-Mart proponent likening the party's leading lawmakers to members of a terrorist group, Hezbollah. In a column published Tuesday, the commentator, Herman Cain, repeatedly used the term "Hezbocrats." Mr. Cain defined them as "a roaming band of militant guerrillas seeking their party's 2008 nomination for president" and said they were lobbing "rhetorical bombs at Wal-Mart." Herman Cain, I'm predicting, has just coined the newest catch phrase to describe the disloyal opposition.  But, wait, it gets better.  Legend in his own mind John Kerry, who was not included in Cain's group (probably because nobody takes his candidacy seriously), had this to say. "I won't stand for the ‘Swiftboating' of working people and Democrats who ask tough questions of big corporations." Or what, John?  Don't you just want to slap him?  Jerks, all.  This is what's going on, and one more reason why America loves Wal-Mart.  Also, according to  Forget the World Bank, Try Wal-Mart, these democrats can stand to learn something about economies from Wal-Mart.

Ramsey (yawn) DNA