Monday, January 23, 2006

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember.........
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert  have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than  Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and  be Mary.

3. The difference  between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 

4. My mind works like  lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door  is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat  folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 

7. It used to be only  death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and  handling, too.

8. A  husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that  he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending  machines and a large trash can.

10.  A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was  relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me  a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on  a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I  went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper.  I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will.  He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." 

13 Definition of a  teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the  splinters never point the wrong way.

and , last --   You don't stop laughing because you grow old--You grow old because you stop laughing.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When someone quoted "The only things that are inevitable are death and taxes" bit to Will Rogers, he replied, "At least death doesn't get worse every year."

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