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Reading du Toit's two books gives me impetus to try
writing my own. To compensate for my lack of the smooth language
skills that Kim, and all really good writers have, I will rely instead on a
slam-bang science fiction plot, so intense that it will compensate for
those shortcomings. Once I'm a published science fiction writer, I
will start my own religion and get really rich. But I digress.
Writing good science fiction demands a background in, well, science.
While I hold advanced degrees in Quantum Physics, Nuclear Physics, and Biology,
they were all purchased from a diploma mill in Cupertino, so I'll
have to fake that part. Here's my outline so far, and don't try to
steal it.
- While attending Army flight school, Rudy Schlong is exposed to
the phenomena whereby helicopters, after creating vibration flutter
contradictory to the helicopter's molecular frequency, literally
disintegrate. He's fascinated.
- Later, as a research assistant at Harvard University, Rudy
works on a device that will similarly tune into brain tumor cells, and
cause them to liquefy, and be drained via shunt.
- During his research, Dr. Schlong discovers that DNA strands
carry unique racial memory tags that are almost infinitely
categorizable, i.e.,Schlong finds that it is possible to, not only
identify the specific ethnicity of human beings, but where they live,
and what they eat. He is nominated for a Nobel, but loses to a French
scientist who developed acne medication. He knows it's because he is
vocal about his pride in America., and becomes somewhat bitter.
- Schlong's discrete tags will not only identify someone of a semitic
origin, but single out those with a predisposition to having sex with young
boys, and sheep. This makes it possible to discriminate between Jews
and Muslims.. With this breakthrough, Schlong envisions a world
without hate.
- Working in his basement, Dr. Schlong develops a sound wave generator, infinitely tunable to these DNA tags.
There you go, the bones of my new novel. I'm excited. Are you? Actually, this may be more of a comedic feel good story than science fiction thriller. We'll see. I don't have a title yet.
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