Death Rehearsal

A rehearsal plan for James Earl Carter

Last year we learned that Jimmy Carter has assembled a 411 page guide to his own state funeral, complete with the "movements of his remains, box lunches, press arrangements, escorts and dark umbrellas for his family and even a demand that soldiers can't have steel-tipped shoes" I have a suggestion. Since Mr. Carter is obviously a control freak, even unto death, and given his history of being the first ex-president to attack a successor to that august office, Jimmy might want to rehearse actually being dead, so he can get at least one thing right in his .. er-death.  That thing being to finally learn to keep his fkng mouth shut. It's bad enough being both the worst President, and worst ex-Presidnet in history, so he'll probably want to avoid the trifecta - worst dead President. Also, a rehearsal will excite the nation in anticipation of the premier event. It's win-win Jummah. Thank You.