Laser Defense

''Hot Wokking'' China

Beijing secretly fires lasers to disable US satellites China has secretly fired powerful laser weapons designed to disable American spy satellites by "blinding" their sensitive surveillance devices, it was reported yesterday. The hitherto unreported attacks have been kept secret by the Bush administration for fear that it would damage attempts to co-opt China in diplomatic offensives against North Korea and Iran. [story]
Revealed - Hot Wocket Defense Shield Anonymous sources in the DOD have shown me details of the top secret program that is currently being used to defend against the Chinese laser.  The mirror satellite captures the incoming beam, amplifies it 1000 times, and  normally returns it back to the source.
Officials told me that instead of destroying China's key Laser weapon bases this early in the game, they're deflecting the beam's trajectory, and targeting Chinese restaurants.  "It's almost impossible to get Chinese take-out in Beijing any more," my source told me.  ''It's driving them crazy trying to figure it out.  We have their cell phones bugged, so I want to get back and listen as this news gets relayed, ROR." This story is Top Secret,  Do not tell the New York Times.