Sunday, September 24, 2006

South Park, Sudafed, Lawyers, Spammers

Sunday Stuff

"That's where we kind of agree with some of the people who've criticized our show," Stone says. "Because it really is open season on Jesus. We can do whatever we want to Jesus, and we have. We've had him say bad words. We've had him shoot a gun. We've had him kill people. We can do whatever we want. But Mohammed, we couldn't just show a simple image." - (Click pic for source)

You know how much I like South Park's humor (Mother Superior hates it, won't watch), but there are some things I just walk away from.  Like the Virgin Mary deal.  I just turned it off. I guess if religion wars break out I'll have to kill Stone and Parker, but until then I'll just enjoy the liberal bashing, and ignore the other.  As for Comedy Central's management ...

Other networks took a similar course, refusing to air images of Mohammed — even when reporting on the Denmark cartoon riots — claiming they were refraining because they're religiously tolerant, the South Park creators say.

"No you're not," Stone retorts. "You're afraid of getting blown up. That's what you're afraid of. Comedy Central copped to that, you know: 'We're afraid of getting blown up.'"


As Cartman would say, "I really, really hate those guys."




When I'm in charge:


  1. All College football games will be played Saturday, 1 PM.
  2. All NFL games will be played Sunday 1 PM
When I'm in charge:

The CEO of any company selling consumer products will  have to demonstrate - to me - the he/she is able to open the package as per the package directions.  "Tear Here"means it can be torn.  :"Press to close" means the package will close with pressure.  The penalty for nonperformance will be severe;  Ten years in prison, and a $1 Trillion fine, paid to me, because ... I'm in charge.

 One sumbitch who will certainly be spending time in the slammer is the Sudafed  president (who, according to my spell checker, is also the president of the Sudan).
When I'm in charge-
  • All effort to find bin-Laden, or any other Islamo terrorist will be suspended while those resources track down the sumbitches who send me stock tip spam, using nonsensical computer generated subject line garble.  As soon as they are found, and executed in cruel fashion, the war on other terror will resume.
When I'm in charge:


Can you read this?  No you can't.  "But Rodge, it's blurry."  That's right.  People who are trying to use Thera-Flu have stuffy heads, runny noses, and blurred vision..  At the top it says, "Do not exceed recommenced dosage."  Okay, wtf is the recommended dosage?  Do you know why the printing is in 4 pt. type, more suited to legal documents than over the counter medicine instructions?  Because it is a legal document.  The manufacturer is trying to indemnify against rat-bastard personal injury lawyers like John Edwards who <three Hail Marys> could have been Vice President of the United States.  All the freaking way on the bottom I found the dosage.  Too late, I'd already brewed  and consumed all 6 packages.  Surviving family will assess, not Novartus Consumer Health Products, but the ATLA - a fine of 12 trillion dollars.

Uh-Oh.  The problem is, it not only cured my cold, but left me with one of those priapism things..   Egad, I took the wrong medicine.  never mind.
That's all for now.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can I add one?

All packages and instructions should be in ENGLISH!! Not french or spanish or God knows what else but just ENGLISH. If you don't like it--LEAVE!!

Thanks- I feel better now.
TFV

Jake said...

Excellent. Absolutely agree with every one of your changes you will make when you are King.

AnnoyedOne said...

[rant]
What about the sealed clear plastic packaging that almost all widgets come in nowadays? Trying to get your widget out causes bodily injury (sharp, stiff plastic). Whatever rocket scientist came up with this idea should be "packed" in their own invention.
[/rant]

Anonymous said...

No, those rigid plastic "clam shell" packages should be "packed" in the rocket scientist. After they get all sharp and shredded.

Anonymous said...

When you are in charge... Can we do something about the makers of "Head On"/"Activon"/
"Freedom Hemorrhoid cream"? Preferably something really, really painful.

David said...

When you are in charge can we get a rule that says when an automated answering system message in English tells me to "Press One for English" all subsequent incoming phone calls will automatically be routed to the president of the company's personal line? When you get the time....

I get the same stock tip e-mail spam. In fact it is the only e-mail spam I get. I have guarded my e-mail addess very carefully and yet these bastards managed to get their hands on it anyway. Go Get em Roger!

Just Another Old Geezer said...

Great list Rodge. Do me a favor when you're in charge. If those football games start at 1:00 pm, make 'em quit ON TIME and not run over. How come it takes a half a damn day for a 1 hour game? Oh, yeah. I remember. Frickin' commercials. Make 'em stop Rodge. Make 'em stop.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

sorry Myron, no cemmercials=komonism

Anonymous said...

Roger is a mind reader to. I did not know that all the above is right on line.

Just Another Old Geezer said...

When I said make 'em stop, I meant make 'em stop running over their scheduled time. That's what pisses me off. Make 'em stay on schedule, Rodge. Make 'em stay on schedule.

David said...

Is the "Mary" stuff really more offensive to you than the Jesus stuff, and if so, can you see why you people creep us out a little? Jesus is real.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Gee David - Which carton of "You People" am I in?

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