Friday, January 26, 2007

Jesus Fucking Cruise!

Cruise Control

Tom Cruise: The “Christ” of Scientology?

Jesus Cruise


Tom Cruise is the "Christ" of Scientology (Jesus Cruise?)

Jesus Fucking CruiseThe actor, who is a devout follower of the bizarre sci-fi cult, has been hailed by leaders of the faith as the "chosen one" who will spread the word of the religion.

High-ranking Scientologist David Miscavige is convinced in years to come Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus all over the world as he becomes a prophet for the religion.

A source close to the actor is quoted by Britain's The Sun newspaper as saying: "Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Just like Christ, he has been criticized for his views. But future generations will realize he was right, just like Jesus." 

LooLoo
1/26/2007 09:53:00 AM 7 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jesus Freaking Cruise... now that's a name I can use in 'feign'. ;)

1/26/07, 11:37 AM
Anonymous said...

Cage match for the Third Millennium:

Scientology versus Islam!

Tom Cruise versus Moqtada al-Sadr!

Woo-Hoo! May the best crazies win!

1/26/07, 12:27 PM
Anonymous said...

I seriously doubt that Tom Cruise is the Anti-Christ.

1/26/07, 2:47 PM
Anonymous said...

Only image I see is "Archbishop Melker" from that one movie (blast from the past). Nut with a tattoo on his forehead... seems comparable.

Still think L. Ron and his buddies are yukking it up over the whole made up religion deal. wmprof

1/26/07, 2:57 PM
Anonymous said...

Awwww!! Awww damn... There's that damn blood blister under the fingernail... gaaah! The only way you can relieve the pain is to heat a paper clip with a lighter until it's red hot and push it into Tom Cruise's head to relieve the pressure... So PAINFUL!!! Yet feels so much better after you muster the will to finally do it.

1/27/07, 12:00 AM
Anonymous said...

I can only imagine...

Watching "Risky Business" and "Top Gun" will be sacraments.

Jumping on couches as an expression of amor will be commonplace.

Nicole Kidman will be referred to as "the evil she-temptress" and Katie Holmes as "the devoted companion".

1/27/07, 8:00 AM
AnnoyedOne said...

Ok, but has he come out of the closet yet?

1/27/07, 9:46 AM

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