Tuesday, January 16, 2007

W3C Conspiracy Uncovered

W3C Conspiracy Uncovered
The Schlong Institute just ran a validation test on the W3C Markup Validation Test, and gave it an F+.  Here's why.

I know programmers.  I have programmed.  No program will even run if there's just one error.  Here's one of my more successful programs, as an example.

 10 INPUT "What is your name: "; U$
20 PRINT "Hello "; U$


This was a very useful, and widely distributed program. However, suppose I forgot a quotation mark?

 10 INPUT "What is your name: "; U$
20 PRINT "Hello "; U$

Instead of getting "Hello Karen," my customers would have seen "ERROR LINE 10," and I'd have been out of a job.

So, what I'm saying, with their "1904 errors," is Picky, Picky, Picky!  The fact that you're reading this proves the point,

Here's what this is all about.  fredw let the cat out of the bag with this statement.

''... the days of letting your nine year old do your corporate web page are long past.''

I phoned W3C spokesman John Frink last night and asked him about my theory -  that computer geeks were upset about having invented something so easy to implement that even a child could do it.
 
ME: 
Professor Frink, isn't this all about validating your high paying jobs by making it too difficult for the average person to understand?
FRINK:
Well, theoretically, yes. But you have no concept of the Elementary Chaos Theory which warns us that  amateur programming will result in computers killing their masters and running amok in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and  the hurting and a shoving-flavin. Mw-hurgn-whey.

I rest my case.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I blame it all on the blink tag. PHP, CSS, XML XHTML, etc are all just ways of stopping the blink.

Then again it might be all Bill Gates fault.

Anonymous said...

Rodger,

I don't know who you are, but you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. The so-called website you've hacked together could indeed be made by a 9 year old. You've tried to validate an XHTML-strict document that is full of invalid constructs and now you think the validator is picky?!? As you can see, changing the DOCTYPE declaration to transitional does not do better. Get an X/HTML book to understand the basics of web development and don't waste the time of W3C representative with your stupid, childish analysis.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Childish? Oh my. I guess a blowjob is out of the question then, you feather headed canker blossom.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of an old Tom Lehrer song:

Hooray for new math,
New-hoo-hoo-math,
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!

AnnoyedOne said...

LOL

"Steve" has obviously never heard of satire. He probably gets his news from The Onion just like the Chinese do ;-)

PS: I bet he votes Democrat.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Steve would make a good Muslim.

null said...

I always knew the W3C was full of crap. Now we have proof!

Anonymous said...

Rodger,
Thanks for your Tuesday morning going back to work satire. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Mr. Frink has got to be Jerry Lewis's uncle.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Now clue that Steven guy in. Or, if he has a good job, take it.

Anonymous said...

If Mr. Frink is Jerry Lewis' uncle, what is Steve? His bastard step-child??

How's this for childish? Stevie- you are a dumass.

TFV

Anonymous said...

Roger
Let me assure you that you would not want a blow job from Steve. I have it on good authority that he practices the inverted Blow job from Iran. That is where he buries his face in your ass and blows as hard as he can and then waits for his reward. What a jerk he has seen that your blog is for normal Americans and not some far out left wing scroats like DU. What a jerk.

Anonymous said...

OMG Jack! I thought I was going to choke reading about the inverted blow job.

Think he ever performs it on himself??

TFV

Anonymous said...

Rodg, I don't know who you are but you clearly don't know what you're talking about:

"I guess a blowjob is out of the question then, you feather headed canker blossom."

That should be coded "I would guess". The comma is a splice, and feather headed should be hyphenated.

And canker blossom? Clearly, you're a lesbian:

HERMIA
O me! you juggler! you canker-blossom!
You thief of love! what, have you come by night
And stolen my love's heart from him?

HELENA
Fine, i'faith!
Have you no modesty, no maiden shame,
No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear
Impatient answers from my gentle tongue?
Fie, fie! you counterfeit, you puppet, you!

Heheh, you puppet, you :)

Anonymous said...

I feel sure he has quite often. He probably sucked what brains he had out his asshole. I feel sure it met with no obstruction.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

http://terpsboy.com/expelled/index.php?showimage=13

Anonymous said...

Rodger,

Also have a try using: http://nikitathespider.com/

It'll validate the HTML on your page, check the links, etc. and send you a report detailing the results. Awesome tool.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I started a Nikita crawl. I have no idea what I'll do with the info - unless the service actually gives cat and paste corrections.

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