Men are like ...

Men are like... Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like... Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like... Vacations. They never seem to be long enough. Men are like... Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest. Men are like... Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them. Men are like... Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. Men are like... Chocolate. Sweet, smooth,and usually headed right for your hips. Men are like... Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night. Men are like... Commercials. You can't believe a word they say. Men are like... Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off. Men are like... Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like... Horoscopes. Always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like... Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it. Men are like... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like... Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Men are like... Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they'll last.