Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Ten troubles minus one

Monday, March 26, 2007

Ten troubles minus one

Sweet release

All but one of these are true, and occurred within the last few days.

Verizon Phone won't work ... tests show short in the house (Fixed - Kitchen phone kaput)
Bathroom toilet leak that CANNOT be stopped after 5 FREAKING tries.
Can't record FiOS TV to computer (Fixed - 1st guy wired it wrong)
Porcelain chipped off a tooth in my$2 billion dollar crown
TiVO won't work with Fios - nobody knows why Fixed replaced TIVO with FiOS DVR
Kitchen faucet is leaking
Trash compactor won't open
Roomba is acting funny - runs around in circles instead of docking
Wife ran off with the milkman
Car battery won't take a charge.

Rodger the Real King of France 3/26/2007 02:38:00 PM 23 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

23 comments:

Steve said...: Gotta be #8, the Roomba is infallible....right??; 3/26/07, 3:02 PM
Anonymous said...: Look at the bright side. Somebody has a nice Colt Python.; 3/26/07, 3:05 PM
Anonymous said...: #9. You don't even have a milkman.

I'll bet it was the guy who delivers the drycleaning.; 3/26/07, 3:10 PM
Anonymous said...: hehhehe !

perhaps the toilet, the faucet, the compactor, TIVO, Fios, the TV, the battery, the computer, Verizon, the crown, the milkman, were all made in San Francisco?

Clearly, Nancy Pelosi is involved...; 3/26/07, 3:29 PM
Anonymous said...: Hi, honey.
Milkman turned out to be no better'n you.
I'll be home soon.
How's the Roomba?
-- Honeybuns; 3/26/07, 3:30 PM
Anonymous said...: They should replace the Roomba. We have had ours over a year and no problemo. Yep the wifey is still right there and she is going to spank you.; 3/26/07, 3:32 PM
Howard said...: Send that one in to Letterman. It's classic; 3/26/07, 3:34 PM
Anonymous said...: Roombas sometimes develop a programming issue. Call their 800 number and they will send you a neat little reprogramming stick/chip that will fix the circle-dance.; 3/26/07, 3:47 PM
Anonymous said...: "Milkman turned out to be no better'n you."

LOLOLOL... gold...

maybe roomba vacuumed a little too much of the pink carpet, and now feels oppressed.; 3/26/07, 5:03 PM
Anonymous said...: Saint Isidore of Seville is the patron saint of technology. He might be persuaded to intercede on your behalf.; 3/26/07, 5:04 PM
Anonymous said...: Rog, so you want me to go to the store for a half gallon for you?; 3/26/07, 5:09 PM
Anonymous said...: Milk tastes like shit. She'll be back.; 3/26/07, 5:22 PM
Anonymous said...: I've cured many a battery and or starting/charging problem by removing the cables and giving them, plus giving the posts and connections, a thorough cleaning,at the battery and at the alternator & starter.; 3/26/07, 5:54 PM
Anonymous said...: Rodger,
The silver lining? Things could be worse:

Your wife's acting funny, running around in circles.

The milkman's truck won't take a charge so he took your car.

The roomba's on strike and has taken the trash compactor hostage. ;-)

ALSO, look how talented you are to fix ALL that stuff!!!; 3/26/07, 5:56 PM
Anonymous said...: Two pinky rings?

Shoot the SOB!; 3/26/07, 7:14 PM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: clap*clap to Juice and all of you. Made me put the gun away.; 3/26/07, 7:27 PM
Anonymous said...: Just an excercise on how versatile Hanky Pelosi is:

Verizon Phone won't work ... tests show short in the Hanky

Bathroom Hanky leak that CANNOT be stopped after 5 FREAKING tries.

Porcelain chipped off a tooth in my $2 billion dollar Hanky

Kitchen Hanky is leaking

Hanky compactor won't open

Hanky is acting funny - runs around in circles instead of docking

Wife ran off with the Hanky

Hanky battery won't take a charge.; 3/26/07, 8:33 PM
Anonymous said...: Rog, in re #2, is it a tank type? If so, have you changed the seal between the tank and the commode? A major culprit, and a pain in the rectum to change, but usually that's it.

In re #6, if it's a delta, there are fix it kits with the rubber pieces and springs that need to be changed, an easy half-hour job. If it's not, why not? Replace it with something swanky for a hundred samolions.

Casca; 3/26/07, 11:39 PM
Anonymous said...: Oh yeah, #10, probably a bad cell. Shitcan the battery, and move on soldier.

Casca; 3/26/07, 11:42 PM
Anonymous said...: You have been using too much energy and releasing too many gases into our Mother Earth athmosphere.

Saint Al Gore knows when you've been good, and he knows when you've been good and now he's punishing you by putting the kabosh into your appliances.

REPENT SINNER! REPENT!; 3/27/07, 1:19 AM
Anonymous said...: "Saint Al Gore knows when you've been good, and he knows when you've been good"

Of course I meant "and he knows when you've been bad". Forgive me Saint Al Gore for I took your name in vain and committed a typo. Oy! now I'll bet my Roomba won't do the samba anymore...; 3/27/07, 1:21 AM
Kim du Toit said...: If #9 is true, then most of the other problems are irrelevant anyway.

And if I'd known you were going to use my Python for that, I wouldn't have lent it to you.; 3/27/07, 11:41 AM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: Casca, tanks, but the toilet problem has more to do with the 3" space I have to operate in to tighten all the various connections than anything.; 3/27/07, 12:18 PM

Monday, March 26, 2007

Ten troubles minus one

Sweet release

23 comments:

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