Thursday, April 19, 2007

I, Caesar

Job Op

The fella across the hall just offered me the job as King of Poland. Should I take it? I don't speak Polish, but have Polish kids.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sure.

It's good to be the king.

Anonymous said...

Which reminds me...Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day and confessed to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, she got fired too."

Anonymous said...

Kings become kings because of usurpation or accident of birth. Rarely in the past few centuries has any man become a king and last very long in that capacity through any special talents or achievements on his own part. Kings become that way not by birthright, but by artificial hallucination.

Kings are agents set up BY men FOR men as both leaders and targets. They’re rather like the one person in the family whom all the rest trust to buy their groceries. My wife insists on managing the checkbook; it’s not because she’s any better at it than I am, but she enjoys the sense of power it gives her while I consider it a tedious pain in the ass. She’s a good king where money is concerned; she hates to owe people, always keeps us ahead on any long-term purchases, and likes to have a cushion available for those times when Fate kicks us in the butt.

Someone once said, can’t remember just offhand who, that there is no royal potentate who doesn’t have slaves somewhere in his or her ancestry, and there are damned few losers and beggars who don’t have royalty in theirs.

Frankly, having been in positions of great power and responsibility, I’d rather live my life anonymously than be a king, or president, or prime minister, or chancellor, or even a senator or governor. Kinda nice to know when people laugh at your jokes that they like either you or the joke or the way you told it . . . not must because they felt obliged to.

Anonymous said...

That's definitely a no-brainer, Rodge. Poland has some seriously zoftig, beautiful womenfolk. Plus, they are staunch allies of ours.

skh

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I know. I married one of them zoftig. :)

Anonymous said...

I thought you had to be chosen by some aquatic tart, arm clad in the finest samite or sumpthin'.

John Burgess said...

Go for King. But immediately suppress the Barons. They get all shirty insisting on their 'Noble Right' and will make your reign a misery.

Check in with MoSup about that 'first night' thing, though. It could lead to a very brief reign for other reasons.

Anonymous said...

Rodger, some men have greatness thrust upon them. Do your duty.

Anonymous said...

Thrice in Polish history there have been kings of the 'Piast' dynasty.I think everyone here has seen you get a little 'piast' from time to time but not to the point of being despotic or anything.Being rightiously 'piast' has shown your fitness for royal office,and I suggest you take the office offered.I recommend the start of a new dynasty as 'RODGER 1 The Enlightened'. Try to be a just and compassionate king and don't be more 'piast' than called for.....

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