Monday, July 23, 2007

Self Healing 101

Butcher's Secret

(paid ad)


It takes a lot of work to get that perfect steak from the cowpen to your plate.   Hacking carcasses all day is tedious, exhausting work. That's why butchers have for eons relied on a trick of  the trade to help relieve boredom.

Archaeologists believe stones found  among Mastodon bones, and bearing a crude human image, may be proxies for an enemy that ancients pinned to the carcass they were carving up.  Cave scratchings near these sites have the  legend "whistle while you work, " which seems to verify the theory.

During World War I, American butchers pinned newspatper clippings of the Kaiser on carcasses, calling them "beef bogies." .  A generation later Tojo and Hitler were put  to similar cathartic use.

Today Hillary Clinton is the beef bogie most used by meat pros on two continents, and now you can have your own.  Each beef bogie kit contains a generous supply of Hillary photographs, specially sized for home cuts of meat. You also receive a box of staples for attaching the bogie.  Plus, if you act now, I'll include 12  special recipes, including "Her Filthiness Fillet," and "MFCS Pot Roast."   Order now, via Pay Pal (just $21, shipping included).

 Ask about my microwave
exploding Harry Reid potato decal.

2 comments:

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Warning: I find it nearly impossible to keep from turning fine cuts of meat, like the tenderloin above, into hamburger.

Anonymous said...

No thanks. I'd have to boil my knives.

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